The Fastest Way to Lose Respect? Keep Saying Yes Even When You Don’t Want To

Stop chasing approval. Start earning respect.

There’s nothing wrong with being agreeable, friendly, and a generally nice guy. But if you set your boundaries wrong, you’ll get taken advantage of — and you’ll end up miserable.

We all know people who bend over backwards to make others happy. Obviously, there’s nothing wrong with helping people — to a point. But if you’re dealing with someone inclined to take advantage of others (and there are plenty of those), you’re asking for trouble.

The people pleaser thinks that if they just give in one more time, things will finally balance out. But they never do — they just get worse. The pleaser ends up doing more of what they don’t like, resenting it more each time, and getting more miserable.

I guess it works pretty well for the “pleasee,” at least in the short term.

Everybody’s different, but I think most people fall into this trap at some point. Some figure it out fast. Others… not so much.

Here’s something to try: The next three times someone asks you to go out of your way — and it isn’t justified — tell them no. And stick to it.

Will it make the other person mad? Yeah, probably. Especially if they’re used to you being a pushover. They may have waited too long, created a mess for themselves, and now expect you to bail them out. Saying no causes them a short-term problem.

But here’s the thing: they’ll live. They’ll get over it.

And if they don’t? They weren’t really that great of a friend to begin with, and you’ve just improved your life by removing them. More often, though, they respect you more after the fact — and the relationship ends up on better footing. And your life’s better for it.

And this goes both ways. Learn to accept no from others, too.

If you’ve been reading here awhile, you know I talk a lot about not discounting commissions, not being on a leash for late-night calls, and setting boundaries with clients. I work hard for my clients and aim to provide the best service possible — but I don’t let people abuse my time or treat me like a 24/7 employee.

That’s not stubbornness. That’s knowing where I stand. And if someone insists on crossing those lines, it’s usually a sign we’re not a good fit for each other anyway.

When your business relationships are based on trust and respect, everyone has a better experience. And funny enough, the financial results can be better, too — even without discounted commissions. I can’t guarantee it, of course; you only get to run a deal once, and there’s no “control group” to compare against. But when you’ve got someone negotiating at a high level daily on your side, that small percentage in commission may get recovered — and then some.

And aside from the numbers, there’s this: never having to wonder whether your broker is working for you or just working you makes the entire process better.

Is it ever a bad time to start a conversation with someone who values your time, negotiates hard on your behalf, and treats you right — while expecting the same in return?

Click below when you’re ready.

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