Mike Browning

Tag: Negotiation

  • Take The Win

    Take The Win

    You don’t also have to announce it.

    Celina’s city council recently approved some incentives to land a second Walmart. I won’t break it down here, but it could be pretty substantial. And probably a smart move, I’d say. Sales tax is one of the few revenue levers a city actually controls, and a big box store just inside your line pulls shoppers in from both sides while the tax dollars only land on yours. So far, so good.

    Then the mayor opened his mouth.

    Ryan Tubbs told the room they were going to build the best Walmart they could “so every resident of Pilot Point comes and visits Celina and shops at Walmart… so that we cause sales tax leakage for our lovely neighbors.”

    He’s not wrong, that’s exactly what’s going to happen. Pilot Point residents will drive to the closer store, and Celina banks the tax revenue while Pilot Point’s roads absorb the traffic that got them there.

    But saying it out loud like that is a low status move. It’s also not smart business.

    There’s about a 100% chance Tubbs sits across a table from somebody in Pilot Point again before too long. A road project, a shared utility line, some regional thing nobody can avoid. And now he’s the guy who stood up and gloated about it on the record. Doesn’t matter that he was right. That’s not a great position to negotiate from the next time he needs something from them.

    Win the deal. Then keep your mouth shut about it. Be gracious.

    If you’re a land investor you know this.

    You make your money when you buy, not when you sell. Old idea, still true every time.

    When somebody’s willing to sell below market today, there’s almost always a reason behind it. A health scare, a divorce, a job that’s moving them, an estate nobody in the family wants to deal with, a note coming due next month.

    You didn’t create the situation. You just showed up with a solution when they needed one, and the price reflected the circumstances.

    The deal closes. You’re very happy with the deal. That doesn’t mean you explain to the seller how much you saved, or mention it to their neighbor, or bring it up again down the road when the tract’s worth double.

    You say thank you and you mean it.

    And that you hope your paths cross again, because in this business they usually do, and you want to still be the guy they’d sell to next time.

    Gloating doesn’t get you anything the win didn’t already get you. It just costs you the next deal, or the next referral, or the next seller who was on the fence and heard how you talk about the last one.

    Most of the good deals I’ve gotten over the years came from somebody who trusted me enough to call again.

    People have long memories when you make them feel like the loser.

    PS- If you’d rather hear about a deal before it goes anywhere else, I keep a short list for that. Nothing fancy about it. When something worth a second look clears my screen, the people on the list hear first. No spam, no newsletter, nothing on a schedule.

    [Add me to the list.]

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  • How Am I Supposed to Do That?

    How Am I Supposed to Do That?

    Turns out it’s not a rhetorical question.

    Some people think a good comeback is the whole game.

    When someone makes an unrealistic proposal or a demand that doesn’t work the first thing most people want to do is explain why. Lay out the reasons. Walk through the math. Win the point.

    But winning the point doesn’t do much for you in a negotiation. The other side just digs in, maybe comes up with a competing set of facts and reasons. Worse, they’re no longer thinking about making a deal, they are thinking about not losing. Which isn’t good if you want to make a deal.

    Chris Voss has a fix for this that sounds almost too simple to work.

    Instead of arguing, you ask how you’re supposed to make it happen. Not sarcastic. Not a setup. An actual question. “How am I supposed to take that to the seller when there are two other offers on the table?” Now he’s not defending his number anymore. He’s trying to solve your problem, which used to be his demand.

    Voss calls these calibrated questions. Open-ended, no yes or no available, and they hand your problem to the other person instead of making it a fight. Most people can’t resist answering a question that starts with “how.” Refusing to answer feels rude in a way that refusing to agree never does.

    I had a buyer a while back convinced he could get a large reduction, much more than what was realistic. I could’ve argued comps at him all day and gotten nowhere, because in his head the comps were the ones that made his number look right. So instead I asked him how I was supposed to bring that number to a seller who had competing offers. Then I asked how many people were going to want to work with us in the future if we got a reputation for chiseling and retrading every deal.

    He thought about it, came up with a more realistic number, and we got the deal done.

    Works the other way too. A seller with a too-high price in mind doesn’t need me to lecture him on it. He needs to hear himself try to answer how a buyer’s supposed to make the math work at that price. He’ll usually get there faster than I would’ve gotten him there.

    Statements draw a line and dare the other guy to cross it. Anybody can say no to a line. It’s a lot harder to say no to a question you have to actually sit and answer first.

    I still slip and argue the number sometimes. Old habit. But the times I remember to just ask, it goes better, and I don’t have to be right in the room to get the outcome I wanted.

    This is the third one I’ve pulled from Never Split the Difference, and I’m running out of ways to say the same thing. Buy the book. You’ll use this stuff in a lot more places than a purchase agreement.

    Get it Here

    PS- That link goes through Amazon, and I’m an affiliate. Doesn’t cost you a dime more, but if you click through and buy the book, or anything else while you’re there, I get a small commission.

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  • “You’re Right”

    “You’re Right”

    I don’t mean it.

    I’ve said it plenty of times and almost never meant it.

    Usually I’m on the wrong side of a desk somewhere. Buying a vehicle and sitting through the extended warranty pitch. Standing in a furniture store while somebody walks me through the protection plan…the one that covers everything except whatever eventually happens to it.

    I’ve already decided. I’m not doing it. Decided a while back, quietly, and now I’m just looking for a clean way out of the conversation.

    And the man keeps going. He’s got reasons. Some of them are decent reasons.

    So I tell him he’s right.

    Not because he moved me. Because I want it to be over.

    Then I read Never Split the Difference and found out that’s a known thing, and that it has a matching pair.

    Chris Voss says “you’re right” is the one you don’t want. When somebody hands you that, you’ve lost them. They’ve stopped arguing, they’d like you to stop talking, and nothing has changed except they’re now looking for the door.

    What you want to hear is “that’s right.”

    One word different. Opposite meanings. “That’s right” comes out of somebody when you’ve just described their own situation back to them better than they’d have put it themselves. It isn’t agreement with your argument. It’s recognition. And you only get there by shutting up long enough to have actually listened.

    Once you know the difference you start hearing it everywhere. My wife. My kids. Anybody who’s ever wrapped up a conversation with me a little earlier than I expected.

    The catch is you have to give up being the smartest man in the room to get there. You don’t get to lead with what you know, which is generally the whole reason you opened your mouth. Most people can’t stand that. Which is exactly why it keeps working for the ones who can.

    I still tell the warranty guy he’s right. Some things you don’t fix.

    But I quit taking it as a compliment when somebody says it to me.

    Never Split the Difference is full of these. Small distinctions that sound like nothing until you catch one happening to you in real time.

    Get it Here

    PS- That link goes through Amazon, and I’m an affiliate. Doesn’t cost you a dime more, but if you click through and buy the book, or anything else while you’re there, I get a small commission.

  • Sign Your Own Checks

    Sign Your Own Checks

    We all need advice, but don’t turn over control.

    I saw an article about Kathy Ireland last week, which said she was suing her longtime business managers. The suit alleges they used a power of attorney she’d granted them to take out loans and open credit cards in her name, and quietly ran up something like $100 million in the process. Ireland says she only found out about this when she and her husband were trying to help one of their kids buy a house, and the mortgage application was denied.

    Probably not much fun to wake up thinking you have a 9-figure net worth, only to find out you can’t cosign on a smaller mortgage.

    I also saw a press release where the managers’ attorney called the suit frivolous. So who really knows? I don’t pay a ton of attention to the news, but maybe one day we will see how it shakes out.

    You see it all the time with athletes on a smaller scale. They sign on with a management firm, give them too much authority and trust, and find out one day that all their money is gone.

    It’s a good reminder that handing someone the pen isn’t the same as getting good advice.

    We all need advice in some areas. So get advice. Get a lot of it. But if the person advising you tells you it’s easier if you just let them handle it, that you don’t need to be bothered with the details, it’s time to find a new advisor.

    Anyone who is my client knows the deal. I will put in the work. And I’ll get you the info you need (good and bad). I’ll explain to you the pros and cons of whatever decision is on the table. And try to help you get where you want to be.

    But you’re going to be the one who makes the decision. And the one who signs your name on anything.

    You don’t need to know everything about your land or your business. You just need to be the one who’s still deciding.

    P.S. Most landowners who request an MBR Land Reality Check aren’t planning to sell. They simply want to know where they stand before they ever need the answer. It’s recent comparable sales, current market activity, and my opinion of what a reasonable buyer might pay today. No obligation to sell. Is it a bad idea to know?

    [Request Your MBR Land Reality Check]

    P.P.S. If you want more like this, I write regularly about land, markets, and what’s happening with growth here in North Texas.

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  • Nobody Ever Wins an Argument

    Nobody Ever Wins an Argument

    (They just get tired of having it.)

    A few years ago I decided to quit discussing politics and current events with other people. For the most part. I still fall into it from time to time, but usually just end up realizing I wasted my time.

    Not because I ran out of things to say. I just noticed something.

    It doesn’t matter how good my facts are, how airtight the logic, or how many times I’ve clearly won the exchange in my own head on the drive home. The other person never once said, “Huh, good point. I’ve changed my mind.”

    They found a different fact. Or decided mine didn’t count. Or got quiet and waited for their turn to talk again.

    It happens with sports too, although the stakes are usually lower. Somebody’s convinced the game is rigged against their team, their quarterback is elite (or he sucks), or the coach should’ve been fired two years ago.

    You can show them the stats. Use logic. Doesn’t matter. They’ve already got their own stats, and if they don’t, they’ll find some. Or make them up.

    I used to think this meant people were just bad at arguing, or too stubborn to admit when they were wrong.

    Then I read Never Split the Difference by Chris Voss.

    Voss spent years as an FBI hostage negotiator, and one of the things he learned was that moving a conversation forward often had less to do with presenting the better argument than making the other person feel understood.

    He’d say things like, “It sounds like you’re feeling backed into a corner,” and then wait. He wasn’t agreeing with them. He wasn’t trying to solve anything yet. He was naming what he thought the other person was feeling and giving them a chance to correct him if he had it wrong.

    And being wrong wasn’t necessarily a problem. When someone corrected him, they were explaining themselves. Now they weren’t defending themselves against his argument. They were helping him understand their position.

    There’s a difference between winning a conversation and actually moving one forward.

    Most every argument I’ve ever “won” ended with the other person more locked in, not less. But when I name what I think someone is thinking or feeling, without immediately trying to fix or correct it, the conversation usually goes somewhere.

    That’s a strange thing to learn from a guy who negotiated with people holding hostages. Stranger still is how often it applies to conversations that have nothing to do with a crisis at all.

    After Jim Camp’s Start With No, Never Split the Difference has probably helped me more with negotiation than any other book. They aren’t the same system, but they’re similar enough that a lot of Voss’s ideas fit naturally with Camp’s.

    Like I’ve said several times, basically everything involves negotiation. So if you get better at it, you improve your life across the board.

    If you’ve read Start With No, I’d recommend Never Split the Difference next.

    Is it crazy to think it’s worth improving a skill that touches almost every area of your life?

    Get It Here

    As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases. If you click the link above and buy anything on Amazon, not just this book, I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you.

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  • Shouldn’t This Be Kept Secret?

    Shouldn’t This Be Kept Secret?

    The answer may surprise you.

    I’ve been writing the last few weeks about Jim Camp’s negotiation masterpiece, Start With No. Along with occasionally trying to talk you into buying a copy and reading it yourself.

    Thanks to those who bought through my link. I don’t think you’ll be disappointed. If anything, you’ll probably be surprised how quickly you start seeing opportunities to apply the basics.

    One question comes up pretty often when people hear about systems like this.

    If it’s really that effective, why would you tell anyone about it?

    Wouldn’t you be better off keeping it to yourself?

    It’s a fair question.

    Camp actually addresses it in the book. He said he wished more of his counterparts used the same system he did. Negotiations would be smoother, less emotional, and far more productive.

    Instead of spending days playing games, the cards would get on the table faster. You’d either make the right deal sooner or discover there was never a deal to be made in the first place.

    Both outcomes are wins.

    Obviously getting an agreement is great. But finding out in a day that there’s no deal instead of spending a week chasing one isn’t exactly a loss. It frees both sides to move on to something more productive.

    The difference comes down to principles versus tactics.

    If a finance manager at a car dealership has figured out a handful of tricks that pressure people into buying an overpriced warranty, he doesn’t want those tricks publicized. Once the person across the table understands the game, the game stops working.

    Tactics depend on the other side not knowing what’s happening.

    Principles don’t.

    If you’re asking honest questions, trying to understand what’s really going on, and looking for a deal that makes sense for everyone involved, it doesn’t hurt when the other side understands what you’re doing. In some cases it actually helps.

    Beyond that, I don’t spend much time worrying about other people learning what I know.

    Most people won’t put it into practice anyway.

    And the few who do often become easier to work with, not harder.

    One of the things I like most about Camp’s approach is that it removes much of the tension people normally associate with negotiation. Less pressure. Less posturing. Less pretending.

    Just figuring out whether there’s a deal to be had and, if so, what it looks like.

    Once you learn it, it really does feel like you’re playing a different game than before.

    In a good way.

    And since almost every situation you encounter involves negotiation, getting better at it is one of the highest-leverage investments you can make in yourself.

    It won’t happen overnight.

    But you’ll probably see results faster than you expect.

    Get It Here

    P.S. That link goes through Amazon and I’m an affiliate. It doesn’t cost you anything extra, but if you buy the book—or anything else while you’re there—I get a small commission.

  • It’s All In How You Look At It

    It’s All In How You Look At It

    We often make things harder in our minds than they really are.

    I’ve heard land investors talk about searching for deals and use the metaphor “like looking for a needle in a haystack.” And I get it. You have to look through a lot of stuff you don’t want to (maybe) find what you do want.

    But think about it a minute.

    And don’t assume rules that nobody spoke.

    Hay is flammable. Needles aren’t.

    Needles are magnetic. Ashes aren’t.

    So if you really want to find that needle, just burn the haystack. Then take a magnet or metal detector to find the needle in the ashes. And you’re done.

    Instead of getting worked up about how hard something sounds, just think it through and see if there’s a creative solution.

    I recently ran a quick search in the greater North Texas area (22 counties). In the land category, there were a little over 4,200 properties available.

    That’s a pretty big haystack. Over 99% of those aren’t going to be suitable for what you’re looking for. Makes it hard to want to start looking.

    And even if you could look through them all, the list changes every day. New properties come on the market. Others sell, expire, get canceled, or get reduced.

    I’ve figured out a way to screen daily for new and reduced properties that appear to be priced well based on recent nearby sales. Burning the haystack, if you will. That leaves me with a much shorter list to run the magnet over.

    Most low-priced properties are cheap for a reason. Floodplain. Access problems. Utility issues. Some other defect that isn’t obvious from the listing. Those get ruled out too.

    Every so often I end up with one or two that are worth a closer look.

    And I have a list of people I alert when that happens.

    But there’s not always a fit.

    It may not be in an area they like. Or it’s more (or less) money than they’re looking to invest. Or maybe they just bought something else.

    So every now and then I end up looking at something I think deserves a closer look and don’t really have the right investor to send it to.

    I’m trying to fix that.

    To hear about opportunities when they survive the filtering, click below and tell me what you’re looking for.

    No obligation. No pressure. Just a way to see what catches my attention before it disappears.

    Would it be a bad idea to know about them?

    Learn More Here

  • My Wife Thought It Was Magic

    My Wife Thought It Was Magic

    And maybe it sort of was.

    Most people think negotiation is something that happens in land deals. Maybe car deals too.

    It’s not.

    Trying to get your kid to clean their room is negotiation. Deciding where to eat is negotiation. Getting time off work for an appointment is negotiation. Most of life is negotiation whether we realize it or not.

    Improving your negotiation skills is probably the most high leverage way to improve your life overall. It touches everything.

    Most people picture a great negotiator as the guy at the dealership. Pushy. A little slick. Leaning on pressure and urgency because that’s the only lever he knows how to pull.

    Sometimes that works.

    But ask yourself how you feel after most car-buying experiences. Even if you like the car, you’re often thinking, I’m never buying from that guy again.

    That’s the problem with pressure tactics. Even when they work, they burn bridges. You win the deal in front of you and lose the next ten.

    Jim Camp’s system from Start With No is different, though I wouldn’t call it the opposite of that. It’s not weak, and it’s not caving in to get to yes faster. Weak gets eaten alive by anyone with real leverage. What it does is take a lot of the tension out of the room without giving up your position. Deals close easier. People stay friendly afterward.

    Sometimes it works so well it’s almost unsettling.

    A while back my wife bought something online from a company that was very clear about its policy. No refunds. No exceptions.

    Naturally, the item broke almost immediately.

    She emailed them and got exactly the response you’d expect. They pointed to the policy and politely told her no.

    She was frustrated.

    I looked at the exchange, wrote a short response, and told her to send it. Maybe four sentences.

    She read it and said there was no way it would work, but she sent it anyway, and the refund was approved almost immediately.

    What amused me wasn’t the refund. It was what happened afterward.

    She looked at me suspiciously and asked:

    “Have you been using this on me?”

    I assured her I only use my powers for good.

    One of the reasons I like Jim Camp’s work is that his system doesn’t rely on pressure, clever arguments, or trying to talk circles around people. In fact, a lot of the time it involves talking less, not more.

    That’s harder than it sounds.

    If you’ve never read Start With No, it’s worth your time.

    Get it here

    P.S. The link goes through Amazon and I’m an affiliate. It doesn’t cost you anything extra, but if you buy the book (or anything else while you’re there), I get a small commission.

  • We Don’t Decide With Our Brains.

    We Don’t Decide With Our Brains.

    We Decide With Our Guts and Hire Our Brains as Lawyers.

    There’s a genre of video that shows up online every election cycle.

    Someone reads a quote to a stranger on the street. Says a politician on the other side said it. The stranger nods along, agrees with every word, maybe adds their own commentary about how reasonable it sounds.

    Then the interviewer reveals who actually said it.

    The person on camera backpedals. Gets flustered. Sometimes gets mad.

    We watch that and think: what a rube. Didn’t even evaluate the idea on its own merits. Just heard a name and reacted.

    Here’s the part nobody likes hearing. That’s not a them problem. Everyone is prone to this sort of thing.

    We decide with emotion first. Then we go looking for the reasons. Most of the time we don’t even notice we did it in that order, because the reasons show up so fast it feels like they came first.

    Car salesmen have known this forever. Their whole job is getting you to want the car before you’ve priced it out and started the paperwork. Once you want it, you’ll find your own reasons the payment makes sense. Even though it’s more than you said you wanted to spend just a little earlier.

    It’s not just dealing with salesmen. It’s most of what moves us, all day, every day, if we’re not paying attention.

    I can tell you it’s smart to have a real handle on your finances. I can tell you that if you own land or commercial property, it makes sense to know roughly what it’s worth, what’s selling around it, what the county or the highway department is planning nearby. Not because you’re doing anything about it. Just because things change, sometimes fast, and it’s better to know than not know.

    You’ll agree with all of that. Nobody argues with it.

    And most people still won’t do anything about it.

    Not because it’s hard. Because of what happens in your chest the moment you think about picking up the phone.

    If an agent calls about your property, most people’s first thought isn’t “great, information.” It’s a mental preview of getting talked into something. Buzzwords. Pressure. A conversation that ends somewhere you didn’t want to go.

    Or it’s the family part. Land that’s been sitting in the name a long time carries more than a market value. Selling it, or even looking like you might, comes with a conversation you’re not ready to have with your brother or your kids.

    I know because that’s the same thing that runs through my head when it’s my property.

    None of that has to be true here.

    Looking isn’t selling. Nobody has to know you looked. You’re not committing to a conversation with your family, a listing agreement, or anything else. You’re just getting the numbers so you’re not guessing later, when guessing costs more.

    Give yourself permission to look. That’s smart to do, and you don’t have to go further.

    PS- Most landowners aren’t planning to sell today.

    But things change quickly. When they do, the people who already know where they stand tend to come out ahead of the ones who are finding out for the first time under pressure.

    That’s what the MBR Land Reality Check is for. Recent sales, what’s listed nearby, development pressure, the stuff that doesn’t show up from the road.

    Is it a bad idea to know where things stand?

    Get Yours Here

    PPS- If you’re not ready for a Reality Check but you liked this one, you can sign up below and get these posts in your inbox.

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  • Being Impressive Can Be Overrated

    Being Impressive Can Be Overrated

    Trying to make the other guy see how great you are isn’t always the best strategy.

    I told this story on here a while back, but a lot of you weren’t reading yet, and I think it’s worth revisiting.

    Not long after the 2008 mortgage crisis, there were vacant lots everywhere and only a handful of buyers. I represented one of the few builders looking to acquire. We sat down with an investment group that was holding lots, to see if there was a fit.

    Realistically, a deal probably wasn’t happening regardless. The timing was wrong, the housing type probably wasn’t a fit, and pricing for builders and sellers was miles apart.

    But this meeting was doomed before anyone opened their mouth.

    The guy leading the investors was sharp. Sharp enough that he couldn’t stand to let it go unnoticed.

    Our builder’s CEO was the same. Two smart guys, both determined to be the one everybody left the room thinking about.

    They weren’t negotiating so much as performing. The rest of us just sat there and watched until the end, then went on our way.

    Not long after, my guy handed acquisitions to someone quieter and went back to running the company. Fifteen years on, that company is publicly traded, one of the biggest homebuilders in the country.

    The other guy didn’t fare quite as well. Overconfidence turned into overleverage, and overleverage turned into prison.

    He’s out now. I won’t be knocking down his door looking to do business again, although you never say never. As a broker you don’t always get to choose.

    Jim Camp writes about “okayness” in Start With No. In any interaction, only one person gets to feel completely okay. Your job is making sure it’s the other guy.

    (You can buy Start With No here)

    If my client had just let the other man have his moment, instead of matching him move for move, it may have been different. Not that day, probably. The numbers were too far apart for that. But there’s a real chance we’re doing business with those investors again down the road, instead of never speaking to them again.

    If you remember the old TV show Columbo, he solved every case for the same reason. He walked in looking rumpled and half a step behind, and the guilty party relaxed just enough to talk too much.

    That’s the whole move. You don’t have to be less capable. You just have to stop trying to prove it so much.

    I’ve watched it play out both ways enough times to trust it. The guy who needs the room to know he’s the smartest one in it almost always ends up negotiating against himself. The one who can let that go usually walks out with the better deal, and sometimes a second chance at one he didn’t get the first time.

    Buy the book, and learn the system. It’s not hard and doesn’t require you to become some sort of master communicator or smooth talker (thank God).

    Get It Here

    PS- That link goes through Amazon, and I’m an affiliate. Doesn’t cost you a dime more, but if you click through and buy the book, or anything else while you’re there, I get a small commission.

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