Some people would argue I don’t have much experience in this…
Just after the mortgage crisis, there were vacant lots everywhere and only a handful of buyers. I represented one of the few builders looking to acquire. We met with an investment group that had been buying lots to see if there was a fit.
Realistically, a deal probably wasn’t going to happen regardless — the timing wasn’t right, and pricing for builders and sellers was miles apart.
But this one was doomed from the start.
The leader for the investors was sharp, but couldn’t resist proving it.
Our builder’s CEO? Same thing.
Two smart guys locked in a measuring contest, and the rest of us just watched it die in real time.
Not long after, my guy passed acquisitions to someone a little less abrasive and focused on his CEO role. Fifteen years later, that company is publicly traded and one of the largest homebuilders in the country.
The other guy? Not quite as good. Overconfidence led to overleverage, which led to prison.
I hear he gets out soon, but I won’t be knocking down doors to deal with him again.
Jim Camp talks about okayness in Start With No: In any negotiation, only one person can feel totally “okay.” Your job is to make sure it’s them.
(You can buy Start With No here)
If my guy had just let the other guy show how smart he was, without trying to match him move-for-move it might have been different. Like I said, we probably wouldn’t have made a deal that day, but there would’ve been a better chance of future deals.
It’s why Columbo solved every case. He looked unprepared and harmless so the criminal let their guard down. Same principle. You don’t have to actually be bumbling; you just have to let them think they’re in control.
If you walk into a room and everyone immediately knows you’re the smartest person there, you’ve already screwed up. People don’t like a smarty-pants — especially one who makes them feel like the slowest kid in class.
That doesn’t mean intelligence isn’t valuable. It just means you don’t win by flashing it.
I’m not recommending clumsiness as a tactic (I’m not big on tactics — I like principles). But just as an experiment, next time you go to a meeting “forget” your pen so you have to borrow one. Or something equally minor.
Watch how the dynamic changes because you let the other party feel “okay.”
What’s this got to do with selling real estate? Maybe not much directly. But I think you see the applications — both in how I deal with my clients and with our counterparts on the other side of a deal.
As for meetings, I try to avoid those as much as I can. And deal strictly in email. I do my best to write clearly — and keep out the tpyos.
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