One step to never being taken advantage of at the negotiating table again
I talked about the danger of neediness yesterday, but it’s so important I’m going to stay with it.
Negotiation is a fundamental skill in life and business—but most people aren’t great at it. Mainly because they just don’t get a lot of practice.
In the U.S., we’ve standardized just about everything. Prices are fixed. Products are labeled. You go to the store, you pay what it says. No haggling. No dance. So when it is time to negotiate—whether it’s for a house, land, or a job offer—most people get uncomfortable fast.
And it’s immediately obvious to the salesperson. They negotiate every day. Even if they’re not a pro, the repetition alone makes them better than most. And they’re more comfortable by default—they’ve got nowhere else to be. This is their job.
Here’s the part most folks miss: negotiation is not about intimidation. It’s not about being slick. It’s about posture.
Neediness is what kills your position.
If you have to buy it today, you probably shouldn’t.
Make yourself wait until tomorrow.
If the salesperson says you have to buy today or the deal is off, call the bluff a few times and see what happens.
If they can sell you a car (or anything else) for a certain number today, is there really any reason they couldn’t do it tomorrow?
Maybe there is, but I doubt it. And if they won’t do it—so what?
Start over somewhere else.
Simple things like this will shake the desperation right out of your system. The clearer your mind, the better your decisions.
Get rid of neediness, and you’ll almost never experience buyer’s remorse. Because you weren’t chasing—you were choosing.
Salespeople—real ones, trained negotiators—can smell neediness a mile away. They don’t always use it against you, but make no mistake: they see it.
Don’t set deadlines.
They’re usually fake, and all they do is stir up neediness.
On the rare occasion there is a real deadline, don’t let the other side know what it is.
Just these basic ideas can improve your negotiation results almost immediately. All it takes is a little practice.
Use it a few times and it’ll work so well, you’ll never go back to the old way.
Even if the results don’t change right away, you’ll feel a lot better about how you handled it.
If someone says you have to act now or lose the deal—call their bluff. You’ll either learn that you didn’t lose the deal, or that you didn’t need it so bad to begin with.
If you’re a people pleaser and feel pushed into things, tell the next three people “no,” no matter what they ask.
Even if you’re afraid they’ll get mad.
Most won’t. But even if they do—they’ll live.
And you’ll learn that you’ll live without their approval. That makes life easier to steer from then on.
Am I worried that by sharing these secrets you won’t need my services as an agent?
Not at all.
I think once you see the value of being a clear-headed negotiator, you’ll want a pro in your corner when it really counts.
And if not, that’s great too.
I ain’t needy—I’ll just help someone else.
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