This one was more convoluted than a Jerry Jones postgame interview.
One of the aggravating things about being in this business is that the various associations I’m required to be a part of (local, state, and national Realtors boards, etc.) like to sell our info to marketers.
Not a day goes by that I don’t get multiple texts or emails offering things like “better insurance options for self-employed professionals” or “exclusive access to off-market opportunities.”
I don’t want to complain too much — everybody gets sold to. And usually it’s easy to tell when it’s a blast solicitation, even when they’re trying to make it sound personal.
It’s a minor annoyance at most.
Besides, every now and then one’s even worth a laugh.
I got one on Sunday with enough word salad to make Kamala Harris blush:
Hey Michael,
We have a strategic who has a strong interest in making an investment into Mike Browning Realty’s space. We are a capital advisory firm that collaborates closely with a select group of sponsors, and this particular group has significant interest in Mike Browning Realty’s vertical, so we wanted to reach out and see if you are open to bringing on capital.
Can we set up a time to discuss this opportunity?
Thanks,
Now read it again and ask yourself one question:
What did they actually say?
- No numbers.
- No investment size.
- No structure.
- No name of the investor.
- No reason they reached out to me specifically.
Just a pile of buzzwords.
People who actually have money — and want to deploy it — don’t talk like this. They don’t need to.
They are short, clear, and direct.
And that’s before you get to the part where: if someone truly has capital to place, the opportunities find them — not the other way around.
The longer it takes someone to explain who they are and what they want, the more likely it is they don’t really know — or they don’t want you to know.
That’s the whole play with emails like this: sound impressive so you won’t ask simple questions.
And if you respond, the next step is almost always:
- an “intro call,”
- followed by a “strategic positioning process,”
- followed by an “engagement agreement,”
- followed by you paying them to “help find capital.”
Translation:
They don’t bring money — you are the money.
Nothing wrong with someone selling consulting services.
But when someone pretends to be an investor while hoping you’ll become a client, that’s a red flag the size of a billboard.
So here’s the rule:
If it takes more than one sentence to explain what they want, they’re not serious.
If it’s real, it’s clear.
If it sounds like a LinkedIn influencer swallowed a thesaurus — delete it.
Because whether it’s real estate, business, or anything else:
People who know what they’re doing speak plainly.
People who don’t hide behind vocabulary.
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