Just because the city council uses them doesn’t mean it’s stupid.
I think Jim Camp’s Start With No is one of the best negotiation books out there.
(If you’ve been reading here for any length of time you know this, since I talk about it regularly.)
One thing everyone should remember is just about everything in your life involves negotiation in some way:
How much you get paid.
Your work conditions.
Getting your kids ready on time without a meltdown.
Where to go for dinner.
Which movie to watch.
Almost everything.
So if you can improve your negotiating skills, you can improve most areas of your life.
And the system Camp lays out in that book is a real game changer. Once it clicks, it feels like the whole thing shifts.
Like you’re suddenly playing a different game.
One of the biggest concepts in the book is this:
Have a Mission and Purpose for what you’re doing.
And for every action you take toward that mission — have an agenda.
I know. The word “agenda” has gotten a bad reputation.
Mostly because city councils, school boards, and various committees have managed to drain every ounce of intelligence out of the term.
But the tool isn’t stupid. The way they use it is stupid.
There’s a difference.
Camp says your agenda should be written. I’ll admit — I’m not always perfect with that part.
But the point is the same:
Have a plan. And stick to the plan.
Even on small things.
If you’re making a phone call to set up a meeting — write down the purpose of the call.
If you’re sending an email — write down exactly what you want to accomplish.
Not what you hope will happen.
Your goal must be something you are 100% in control of.
If you don’t control it, it’s not a goal — it’s a hope.
For example:
Your agenda is not to get a certain answer. You don’t control what the other person says.
Your agenda is to ask the question in the clearest, most direct way possible. That you control.
Break things into the smallest pieces possible.
Then manage your actions by having simple agendas — basically written instructions for yourself.
Track what you do, and you’ll hit your objectives far more often.
That’s the whole trick.
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PS – This isn’t the whole system, of course. But the book details how controlling our own conduct goes a long way toward getting the results we want.
The tactics and negotiation “moves” are in there too — but once the behavior principles are right, the tactics matter way less.
It’s not about strong-arming anybody, being a jerk, pretending to be tough, or playing power games.
It’s the opposite of that.
I re-read it at least once a year. It’s that good.
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