I know you know this. But maybe your friends don’t.
I spend a lot of my time on what I call the institutional side of the business.
Homebuilders, developers, large investors. The kind of clients who are in real estate full time. They’ve got teams, systems, scale, and a pretty clear sense of what works for them.
Some are better to deal with than others. But I try to only work with the best.
Then there’s what I call the retail side: individual land or lot owners.
People who might own a few properties but aren’t in the business. For them, it’s personal — because it is personal. It’s their land, their money, their decision.
Two different animals.
Usually, the best setup for me is when I can help someone from the retail side navigate a deal with someone from the institutional side.
I know what the developers want. I know what the landowners need. When it lines up, it’s a win for everybody.
But that gap between the two worlds? That’s where deals can get sideways.
One of the biggest differences — and one of the most useful things you can copy — is this:
Institutional players don’t take things personally.
You should try not to as well.
That doesn’t mean they don’t care. It just means they know emotion doesn’t help them make better decisions.
They’re not insulted if there doesn’t seem to be a fit on price.
They’re not rattled when a deal falls apart.
They don’t assume bad faith at every turn.
They regroup, re-run the numbers, and see if there’s a way to make it work.
If there is, they propose it. Maybe it gets accepted, maybe it doesn’t. Either way, they move on and stay on good terms with the other party (as far as it depends on them).
If more individual landowners approached deals this way, they’d get better results. Period.
But a lot of times, when a buyer asks for more time, or a price adjustment, or pushes back on some detail, the instinct is to think, They’re trying to pull something!
Especially when the buyer is a developer.
The assumption is they’re dragging it out on purpose. Trying to nickel and dime you. Working some hidden angle.
But here’s the truth: Developers want the same thing you do.
They want it simple. They want it quick. They want to close.
The difference is, they’ve got more moving parts. More uncertainty. More risk.
That’s what slows things down — not some secret plan to wear you out.
And if the deal pencils? Price won’t be an issue.
But figuring out whether it pencils takes time, money, and effort.
None of that is free. And none of it is personal.
You can’t control everything in a deal. But you can control how you react.
Not everything works out the way we want it to, but rarely because the other side was dishonest or mean.
Rarely. Not never.
And that’s where experience matters.
I’ve likely already dealt with whoever’s on the other side of your deal. And if I haven’t, I know someone who has. If they’re shady, I’ll know — or I’ll find out.
If we don’t catch it upfront, I’ll know a lot sooner than you if they’re acting in bad faith.
If so, we play hardball and let them either close or walk.
Which means you don’t have to learn the hard way.
And if we have to start over, we will.
But what we won’t do is take it personal.
That alone puts you way ahead of the pack.
In real estate and in life.
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