Tag: Personal Boundaries

  • Tell Me No Anytime (I’ll Do the Same)

    Tell Me No Anytime (I’ll Do the Same)

    A funny thing happens when you’re friendly, kind, approachable, or easy to talk to:

    People start to assume you’re available.

    Available to help. Available to listen. Available to change your schedule. Available to bend your day around theirs.

    They don’t ask.

    They just sort of… lean in your direction and expect you’ll catch them.

    Most of the time, it’s not malicious.

    It’s just how people operate when they haven’t built their own structure.

    And a lot of us were raised to be polite. We were taught to:

    • Hold the door
    • Let people finish their sentences
    • Speak respectfully
    • Not act like we’re the center of the universe

    All good things.

    But somewhere along the way, a lot of people picked up a wrong idea:

    That being polite means being accessible.

    It doesn’t.

    You can care about people and still protect your time.

    You can treat people well without making yourself available on demand.

    The problem is, if you’ve been polite your whole life, the first time you say “No, that doesn’t work for me,” somebody is going to act like you just keyed their car.

    That’s fine. Let them. They will live.

    If you have a hard time saying no, try this: the next 3 times someone asks you to do something, resolve now to tell them no. Without even knowing what it is.

    You’ll find out quick that they don’t stay mad long. They’ll stop asking for things they shouldn’t have been asking for in the first place.

    (and if it’s something you wanted to do you can always call back later and say you changed your mind)

    Because here’s the alternative:

    If you make all your decisions based on who might get upset, you’ll end up living a life that isn’t even yours.

    And then you’ll resent everyone around you — quietly, constantly — while still trying to smile through it.

    No thanks.

    Here’s the real rule:

    Polite is how you behave.

    Available is what you choose.

    They are not the same thing.

    Once you separate those two, life gets a whole lot easier.

    You can look someone in the eye, speak kindly, and say:

    “No, that’s not going to work for me.”

    No apology. No justification. No performance.

    If someone needs you to sacrifice yourself to prove you’re good…

    that’s not a relationship — that’s leverage.

    And you don’t owe anyone that.

    Now lets shoehorn real estate into this…

    When you call me with questions about your land or lot, I’m glad to help.

    But I’m not going to pressure you. I’m not going to “stay in your ear.” And I’m not going to chase you around trying to convince you of anything.

    Because your time is your time.

    And mine is mine.

    The way it should be.

    If you want to understand the value of what you own — now or just for the future — I’ll get you the information straight. No sales pitch. No urgency.

    Polite — not available.

    Click Below:


  • Can’t Argue with This Reasoning

    Can’t Argue with This Reasoning

    Convincing works even less in personal relationships than in business.

    I’ve gotten pricklier with age, so it doesn’t happen to me much anymore — but I see it all the time with people close to me.

    Someone asks them to do something, and they say no. But instead of leaving it there, they give a reason why.

    And that’s when it starts.

    Because when you give someone a reason, you give them something to argue with.

    Suddenly, they’re explaining why your reason doesn’t matter:

    • “You don’t really need to do that thing.”
    • “This is more important.”
    • “You’ll have more fun if you just do this instead.”

    In other words, they’re trying to convince you that what they want is really good for you.

    It reminds me of casino operators trying to get gambling legalized in Texas — pitching us on how great it’ll be for everyone, when really, they’re the ones who get rich. But that’s another story.

    Here’s the point:

    • Learn to take “no” for an answer. You’ll feel better, and some people will return the favor — which is still better than you’re getting now.
    • When someone asks you to do something you don’t want to do, give one reason:

    That’s it. You can’t argue with it.

    Here’s the pretzel twist back to real estate:

    I’ll never try to talk you into selling. If you’re not ready, you’re not ready. I might follow up occasionally, but I’ll never pressure you.

    My job is to give you information and advice — to help you see how that might get you where you want to go. Not to tell you where to go. (And if I ever do, you have permission to tell me where to go.)

    Is there ever a bad time to stay up to date on things, in a no-pressure environment? You may never be ready to sell, and I’ll never try to convince you. But it’s always smart to be ready.

    Click below when you’re ready to start with that.