Tag: Negotiation

  • What’s Good For The Goose…

    What’s Good For The Goose…

    Sometimes I need to remember to follow my own advice.

    If you’ve been reading here any length of time, you know I like to talk about how putting things off isn’t smart. It’s understandable why we do it. We’re avoiding something we think will be unpleasant. But usually we’re better off facing it now, because the unpleasantness doesn’t shrink while we wait. It grows. And half the time you find out the thing you were dreading wasn’t worth the dread.

    We all know it’s a bad idea. We all do it anyway. That includes me.

    I run another site called hiswordtogether.com. It helps people stay on a Bible reading plan that gets you through the whole thing once a year. If you’re interested, you can check it out at the link.

    When I started the site late last year, I also reserved the .net and .org versions of the name. Ever since then, up until last week, there was an item on my to-do list to point those addresses to the main site.

    It had been there so long I stopped noticing it most of the time. When I did see it, I’d think about how I needed to get it done, then immediately start getting nervous about doing it. I’m not the most tech-savvy guy around, and I’d start picturing what happens if I click the wrong spot and take all my sites and my email offline.

    Again.

    That’s happened before. Inconvenient doesn’t cover it. Support got me through it, but when you don’t know how to explain what you did, it’s not exactly fun.

    So I kept trading the low-key annoyance of seeing it on my to-do list for the sharper worry of “what if.”

    Last week I finally did it. Logged into my registrar, four clicks, done. I spent something like a hundred times more effort avoiding it than it took to just do it.

    Nothing in my life is visibly different now, except I feel a little silly.

    I bring this up because I see the same thing happen with landowners, just about a different kind of click.

    You know it’s smart to have a read on what your land is worth and what’s happening around it. You’re probably not selling anytime soon, maybe not ever. But you also know that not knowing is its own kind of risk, the kind where you find out too late that something changed.

    What stops people isn’t the info. It’s what they think asking for it will cost them. Call an agent for “just some information” and a lot of them hear that as an invitation to start walking you toward a listing appointment, whether you asked for one or not. So people skip it. Same as I skipped four clicks for months.

    That’s what the MBR Land Reality Check is for. It gives you real market data, a heads up on what’s happening nearby, and whatever else might be relevant for your property.

    All without pressure to list, or having to sit through a buzzword-filled presentation. And it can be requested in a couple of minutes, or less time than it took me to fix my domain issue.

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  • The Danger of Needing It

    The Danger of Needing It

    One of the best books on negotiation is Start With No by Jim Camp. Probably the single most important idea in it: neediness is the first thing you have to get control of. Until you do, you’re at the mercy of whoever you’re sitting across from.

    Doesn’t matter if it’s a car, a house, a piece of land, or where you’re going for dinner Friday. Same rule.

    Go shopping for a car and it’s about a sure thing that once you show real interest, the salesman mentions someone else. They’re coming to look at it this afternoon. Or they were in yesterday, said they’d probably be back. Whatever the line is, the point is the same. Make you feel like if you don’t move now, you’re going to lose it.

    And it works. Not because you’re gullible. Because it’s aimed at something real. The second you stop thinking “I like this” and start thinking “I need this,” you’ve handed over the leverage.

    You don’t even notice it happening. You just start agreeing to things you wouldn’t have agreed to an hour earlier.

    Here’s what your brain skates right past. On the way to that lot, you passed a few thousand other cars. Other lots. Other listings. These things are mass produced. If this one gets away from you, there’s another one out there, probably better, and you’ll never think about this one again.

    You need food. You need shelter. Around here you probably need a vehicle of some kind. But you don’t need this particular car. You don’t need this particular house.

    Land’s a little different. No two pieces are exactly alike, so in a technical sense a specific tract really is one of one. But different doesn’t mean irreplaceable. Miss it, and the sun still comes up tomorrow. You still eat dinner. You’ll find something else that checks the boxes, maybe something you like better, and you won’t spend one more minute thinking about the one that got away.

    Wanting something is fine. Wanting it enough to stretch a little, work for it, negotiate hard. Also fine, as long as you’re doing it with your eyes open. Needing it is where it goes sideways.

    That’s when you stop negotiating and start hoping nobody notices you’re begging.

    The people on the other side of the table notice. Even the ones who aren’t trying to work you over will feel the shift, and the good ones absolutely will use it. Not because they’re crooked. Because that’s the game, and you just told them you’re not really playing it anymore.

    The fix isn’t complicated, even if it’s not easy. Notice when you’ve crossed the line from “I’d like this” to “I have to have this.” That’s your signal to slow down, not speed up. Ask yourself what you’re actually risking by waiting a day. Usually the honest answer is: not much. The deadline was mostly invented to make you feel exactly what you’re feeling right now.

    Camp built an entire system around this, and it’s worth your time if you’ve never read it. Whether you’re negotiating a purchase, a sale, a raise, or just trying to get your teenager to clean their room. Once you see how much of negotiation is really about who wants it less, you can’t unsee it.

    It’ll change how you walk into every negotiation. And since everything is a negotiation, it may change your life.

  • The First Step Is Usually the Hardest

    The First Step Is Usually the Hardest

    I remember being told growing up that it takes less gas for a car to idle for a few minutes than to shut it off and restart it. Something about wear on the starter too. I heard the same thing about lights. About computers. If the goal was saving energy, you were often better off leaving things running than flipping them on and off.

    Might not have been true. I’m not an electrician or a mechanic, and it was a long time ago. So even if it was true then maybe it isn’t now.

    Beside the point anyway.

    I read something recently noting that the hardest part of most tasks isn’t the task itself. It’s going from not moving to moving. Once you’re in motion, momentum does most of the work. The whole fight is getting off the couch.

    Once you see that, you can use it against yourself, in a good way. Can’t get motivated for the gym? Make a deal. You’ll get dressed, drive there, walk in. If you still don’t feel like it once you’re inside, you can turn around and go home.

    Do this enough times and you’ll find you almost never leave.

    Just getting started was the whole battle.

    I use this at the office too. There are some projects I have that I don’t look at every day, but are large and have lots of moving parts. When it’s time to pick them back up, they’re overwhelming enough that putting them off a little longer feels reasonable. Which would just make it worse.

    If I commit to ten minutes, just one small task like sending an email or reviewing what’s left to do, I almost never stop at ten minutes.

    If anything I end up with the opposite problem. I get moving and don’t stop. An hour turns into four, and something else I meant to get to that day doesn’t happen. I’ve started setting alarms just to make myself quit.

    The same thing happens with bigger decisions too.

    If you own non-residential real estate, it’s probably a real chunk of your financial picture. Worth knowing what it’s worth, and what’s happening around it that affects that. Not because you’re looking to sell. Usually the smart move is waiting, unless you’ve got somewhere better to put the money or a reason that forces your hand.

    But it’s better to have the information and not need it than to need it and not have it.

    Most people never get the information. Getting started feels like a bigger thing than it is.

    And there’s the barber problem. Ask a barber if you need a haircut and you already know the answer.

    Call about your land looking for information and you end up on the phone with a salesperson telling you all the things you need to do that happen to be very good for them. So people put it off.

    It doesn’t have to go that way.

    It takes about two minutes to request, and it shows up in your inbox a few days later.

    No pressure, because there isn’t a pitch waiting on the other end.

    You don’t have to be ready to sell.

    You just have to be willing to know where things stand.

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  • The Gap Between Stories

    The Gap Between Stories

    Most people in a conflict become very, very good at one thing.

    Their version.

    I’ve watched it happen enough times to recognize the pattern early. Someone gets into a dispute, and immediately everyone assembles their case. The evidence. The timeline. Getting to others first, so they can get you on their side. They can tell you exactly what happened and exactly why the other person is wrong, and they’ve told it so many times it has the smooth, rehearsed quality of something that stopped being examined a while ago.

    What they usually can’t do is explain the other side.

    Not a real version of it anyway. Not the version the other person might actually recognize. They can do a kind of highlight-reel caricature where the other person comes off as selfish or unreasonable or oblivious, but that’s not the same thing. That’s just their own story with a different character labeled.

    Chris Voss has a line I keep coming back to. There are three sides to every story: my side, your side, and the truth. Most people spend their whole lives defending the first one.

    People forget to consider what that costs.

    It costs resolution, obviously. But it also costs information. If you can’t articulate the other person’s position in a way they’d agree with, you’re not negotiating with them. You’re negotiating with your idea of them, which is almost always a worse version than the actual person. Easier to dismiss. Easier to be right about.

    I’ve seen this play out many times where both sides are so committed to their read on what’s fair that they let something genuinely good fall apart. One side thinks the other is greedy. The other finds the offer insulting. Neither one has sat with the question of what the other person actually needs and why. The gap between the two stories is where the deal lives, but a lot of times nobody goes there.

    It shows up everywhere. Families. Business partnerships. Long friendships that quietly go cold.

    The test Voss suggests is a good one. Can you make the other person’s case as well as they could? Not a version that secretly makes you look reasonable by comparison. The real one, with their actual concerns and their actual logic and the parts of their position that, if you’re honest, have some merit.

    Most people can’t do it. Which means most people are still negotiating with their own story instead of with the situation in front of them.

    That’s not a moral failing. It’s just expensive.



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  • The Big Deal Isn’t Harder

    The Big Deal Isn’t Harder

    Early in my career I spent months working a deal. Drove the area, ran the comps, found the right buyer, got it closed. Made about a thousand dollars on it.

    I was working with my dad at the time, so he saw all of it. The driving around, the dead ends, the slow grind toward a buyer. He told me I’d done everything right, worked it the way it should be worked. Then he told me something I didn’t fully get at the time.

    He said it isn’t any harder to work a big deal than a small one.

    I argued with that a little in my head. Surely the bigger deal has more moving parts, more zeros, more ways to mess it up. More people who’d notice if you got it wrong.

    He was right and I was wrong. (Don’t tell him I said that.) The work is close to identical. Find someone who wants to buy, someone who wants to sell, put them together and get something done that leaves everyone better off. What changes is the number at the end, and that number doesn’t ask you to do anything different to get there.

    Most of what makes the big version feel harder isn’t the deal. It’s you. You start adding weight to it that isn’t actually there. Bigger feels like it should require more, so you tense up, slow down, second-guess yourself in ways you never would on something smaller. The deal didn’t get harder. You did.

    It applies to most things, and most people never test it. Making two hundred thousand a year isn’t meaningfully harder than making forty. It’s a different set of habits, different deals, different conversations, but it isn’t five times the effort or five times the stress. People assume the bigger number requires being a different kind of person. Mostly it just requires not getting in your own way at the size you’re currently working.

    People spend years circling the smaller version of something because it felt safer, only to find out later the bigger version asked the same of them. If not less. They just hadn’t been willing to find out.

    PPS- If you’re not ready for a Reality Check but enjoy reading about land, markets, and negotiation, you can sign up below and get these posts in your inbox.

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  • The World As It Is

    The World As It Is

    Some people spend a lot of energy being offended by things that were never about them.

    Someone says something careless. Or acts a certain way in public, or online, or at work. And someone else sees it and decides it was aimed at them personally. Now there’s a problem to solve. A wrong to correct. A wound that needs acknowledging.

    A lot of times the other person wasn’t thinking about them at all.

    People are self-absorbed, although usually in ordinary, harmless ways. They’re worried about their own day, their own bills, their own kid’s homework. The comment that landed wrong, the look that seemed pointed, the rule that felt unfair. Most of it is just noise other people are making while they live their own lives. It only becomes about you if you decide it is.

    Obviously I’m not saying bad behavior doesn’t exist. People are rude and small and unfair plenty. As the saying goes, some people are just jerks.

    But there’s a difference between noticing things and letting those things ruin your day, or organizing your life around the idea that the world should have treated you a certain way and now owes you something for not doing it.

    That’s exhausting. And it doesn’t change anything. Whatever happened still happened. All that’s changed is you’ve spent the afternoon carrying it around.

    The people who do best are the ones who deal with the world as it actually behaves instead of how they wish it did. And move forward accordingly. That doesn’t mean you can’t be disappointed at times, but it happens to everyone.

    This is one of those concepts you see everywhere once you notice it for the first time.

    A seller looks at their property and decides what they want it to be worth. Based on what they put into it, what they need out of it, what the neighbor claimed his sold for at the mailbox. None of that is the market. The market doesn’t know what you need and doesn’t owe you a number.

    You can list at an unrealistic number you wish were true, but I don’t recommend it. Buyers will simply ignore you, politely or not, and the property sits.

    You can price it at what the market will actually pay, today, with the buyers who actually exist, and move forward. Or you can wait. And maybe later things will be more to your liking.

    Both are real choices. Waiting for the market to come around to your number may be the right call. Nobody knows the future, but in north Texas land has tended to rise over time. If you’re not in a hurry, or don’t need to sell, it might be the best choice.

    But the market isn’t being unfair to you for not acting like you wish it would. It isn’t being anything. It’s just being a market.

    PPS- If you’re not ready for a Reality Check but enjoy reading about land, markets, and negotiation, you can sign up below and get these posts in your inbox.

  • Ambushed By A Salesman In Real Time

    Ambushed By A Salesman In Real Time

    I keep coming back to this one: people put off stuff they already know they should deal with. Not because they’re lazy. Because they’re avoiding a hassle they’re pretty sure is coming.

    Take your land. You’re not looking to sell it today. But knowing what it’s worth, and what’s happening around it, can’t hurt you. You’d have the information sitting there if anything changes. If a neighboring tract comes up for sale, you’re not finding out last. And if it’s a good deal, you might be ready to move on it first.

    So why do most people pass when someone offers them free information?

    Mostly because they’ve been burned before.

    Mention you’re the slightest bit curious what your property’s worth and your mind jumps straight to a timeshare pitch. Numbers too good to be true. A guy who won’t take no for an answer.

    You ask one question. The phone starts ringing. And doesn’t stop.

    So you let it go. Not worth the hassle.

    That happened to me last week. My truck’s had a couple of recalls sitting open for a while (nothing major), and I’d been putting it off because I didn’t want to spend an afternoon at a dealership. A card came in the mail with a QR code, said I could schedule online. Figured I’d try it. The site barely worked, so I gave up after a few minutes.

    Except it worked fine, for what it was actually built to do.

    Within minutes my phone rang. Sales manager at the dealership. I let it go to voicemail. He wanted to know what car I was interested in and when I could come in for a test drive.

    A few minutes later, an email. Somehow he’d copied my wife on it too, asking what we were “working a deal” on.

    I asked for service. They tried to close me on a car I never mentioned.

    That’s the move. That’s why people stop raising their hand.

    When you raise yours with me, that’s not what happens. I’ll reach out, sure. Lightly. No pressure, no script.

    You can decide for yourself what that’s worth.



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  • The Gas Price People

    The Gas Price People

    Since I’m out looking at land all over DFW, I drive more miles than most people do in a month. And I don’t drive a Prius, I drive a pickup. Not one of the giant, jacked-up models, but I’m still not winning any awards for conservation.

    So if anyone should be paying attention to gas prices it should be me. But I don’t. But that doesn’t prevent others from telling me about the latest moves.

    You know the type. They watch the price board every time they pass a station. They’ll drive ten miles out of their way to save three cents a gallon. Burn more gas than the savings they get. They text their spouse: “Buc-ee’s in Melissa is at $3.09 right now.” The gas price conversation comes up at dinner like they’re tracking a stock.

    But think about it. Say prices jump twenty cents a gallon. My truck takes about 26 gallons. That’s five dollars more per fill up. Five bucks. The mental energy some people spend tracking that number, recalculating, stressing, and comparing costs more than five dollars. Probably a lot more.

    As a wise man once said: he who knows the price of everything knows the value of nothing.

    And that’s the real problem. When you’re focused on what something costs, you stop thinking about what it’s worth.

    Landowners do this too.

    Not with gas prices. With phone calls.

    They’ve been sitting on a piece of land, could be a hundred acres, could be forty, and every so often they wonder what it’s worth. What’s been selling nearby. Whether the market shifted. Whether now’s the time or not.

    But they don’t do anything about it.

    They’ve decided that the cost of checking is too high. Not in money. Something worse: the pressure. The pitch. The agent who’s going to spend forty-five minutes making it real estate conversation instead of land conversation, then follow up every two weeks until they finally block the number.

    So they wait. And while they’re waiting, they’re not getting the information they’d need to make a good decision when the time comes.

    That’s the real cost. And it’s not five dollars.

    Here’s what I’d ask you to think about.

    What if you knew ahead of time that the pressure thing wasn’t going to happen? If I promised you the conversation was just going to be information, that I wasn’t going to push, that you reach out and end up with a clearer picture and nothing more, would it still make sense to wait?

    Of course anyone can promise no pressure. But don’t take my word for it, hear it from people who actually got a Land Reality Check:

    — Mary G., Frisco

    — Lisa H., McKinney

    — Barbara K., Denison

    The value of knowing what your land is worth doesn’t go away because you’re not planning to sell today. If anything it goes up, because the people who make good decisions on land almost always understood the market before they needed to.

    The cost you’re worried about? It doesn’t exist here.


    PPS-Not ready for that yet? You can sign up below and just read. Land, markets, negotiation. No pitch.

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  • You Did All That Without Visiting the Property?

    You Did All That Without Visiting the Property?

    I recently did a Land Reality Check for someone in Alvarado.

    I was up front when I sent it. The property was a couple hours away so I hadn’t actually been there. What he was getting was what I call a desk valuation.

    So I did what I could from here. Pulled comparable sales, looked at competing listings, checked aerial imagery, topography, floodplain data, road access, utility providers, ownership history, and what’s been developing in the surrounding area. Put it together into a pretty good picture of both the property and the market around it.

    When I asked what surprised him most, he said it was how much data I’d been able to pull without ever setting foot on the ground.

    Here’s the thing about land. A lot of what drives value isn’t on the property. It’s around it. Who’s been buying nearby. What they’ve been paying. How much competing inventory is sitting on the market. Where the development pressure is coming from, if any. What infrastructure exists in the corridor.

    None of that requires walking the dirt. It requires understanding what’s happening in the market.

    Of course, site visits matter. There are things you won’t know until you’re there. If we get a little further along and he’s considering selling, I’ll get out there. And it could change things some if there are things I couldn’t see from hours away. A neighbor situation. A drainage problem. A view that the aerials don’t capture. A transmission line sitting just outside the frame. When talking about selling a million dollar property, you need to see it obviously.

    But the assumption that useful information only comes from physically visiting a property, that one’s not right. In a lot of cases, the most important questions get answered before anyone starts the truck.

    Which is part of why the Land Reality Check works for people who aren’t ready to sell. He is thinking about maybe selling, but not immediately. The report was still useful. He wanted to understand what he owned, what the market around it looked like, whether anything had changed.

    That’s a reasonable thing to want to know. And it’s easy to get.


    PPS- If you’re not ready for a Reality Check but enjoy reading about land, markets, and negotiation, you can sign up below and get these posts in your inbox.

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  • Things Change. That’s Not the Problem.

    Things Change. That’s Not the Problem.

    My daughter started her first job recently. Retail. Big store.

    She’s a couple weeks in. Shows up on time, good attitude, does what she’s asked. In retail, that combination already puts you ahead of a significant portion of the workforce. The industry runs around 60% annual turnover. No-call-no-shows are a daily problem for store managers. Someone who just reliably shows up is one less thing to worry about.

    Which means they’ll notice. And eventually they’ll start asking more of her. She’s already getting way more hours than she initially expected. That’s fine. That’s how it works. You accommodate when you can, especially when you’re new. You never know who’s watching or where people end up. I have clients who’ve hired six-figure salespeople out of fast food drive-thrus because someone made an impression.

    But there’s a line.

    She has a friend leaving the country. Going away party scheduled around my daughter’s work schedule. She was off at 4, plenty of time. Except she looked back at the schedule and her shift had been moved. Hours later. Nobody asked. Nobody called. It was just different.

    That’s not a scheduling issue. That’s a respect issue.

    She was upset. I was able to talk her through how to approach it and she got things switched back. The boss said the only reason she changed it was that my daughter had written “open to any hours” on her application. Which is true. But a reasonable person knows that if you’re scheduled off, you’re not just sitting around waiting to work. You’re living your life. Sometimes a change is no big deal. Sometimes it’s a huge deal.

    Things change. The market moves. A buyer falls through. A timeline shifts. I’ve seen deals that looked simple get complicated fast and complicated ones come together out of nowhere. That’s just how it works and there’s no point pretending otherwise.

    But there’s a difference between things changing and someone changing things on you without a conversation.

    If something shifts that affects your timeline, your plans, what you thought was going to happen, you’re going to hear it from me first. Not after the fact. Not when it’s already done. You’re not going to look at the schedule one day and find out it’s been changed.

    You control this. That part doesn’t move.

    I can’t promise everything goes according to plan. Nobody can. What I can promise is that you’re never going to feel like you woke up and someone had already decided something for you.


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