Mike Browning

Tag: Negotiation Psychology

  • The Negotiation Nobody Notices

    The Negotiation Nobody Notices

    Nitpicking nickels, netting nothing.

    Buyers sometimes lose deals for a strange reason.

    They win too many small arguments.

    Most people think negotiation means squeezing every last concession out of the other side.

    But small concessions often trigger the same psychology we talked about earlier. People feel losses about twice as strongly as equivalent gains.

    So every small “win” for the buyer can feel like a loss to the seller.

    And losses tend to demand compensation.

    Imagine you’re buying a tract of land.

    The price is close to working.

    But during negotiations you start asking for a list of smaller items:

    Pay for the survey.
    Pay for title.
    Fix the fence.
    Cover some closing costs.

    None of these things are huge by themselves.

    But to the seller, every one of them feels like giving something up.

    Soon the deal starts to feel worse than the original offer.

    And the seller reacts the same way most people do when they feel losses stacking up.

    They push back harder on the price.

    Or they simply decide the deal isn’t worth the trouble.

    Ironically, buyers sometimes end up paying more by trying to win those smaller battles.

    The deals that close smoothly usually look different.

    Both sides focus on the big economics first.

    Once that works, they stop trying to win every small point.

    Because in negotiation, momentum matters.

    If the deal feels good, people want to finish it.

    If it starts to feel like a series of losses, they start looking for a way out.

    And most deals that fall apart don’t fail because of the big numbers.

    They fail because of the little ones.

    P.S. Before negotiating anything, it helps to know where you stand in the market. Even if you’re not looking to do anything today, the time to start paying attention is before you actually need to.

    That’s what the MBR Land Reality Check is for. Real market intelligence from someone with decades in the land business. You’ll know what’s selling, for how much, and what’s happening in terms of development.

    It’s free today. Never any obligation, and never any pressure to list.

    Get Yours Here

    P.P.S. If you’re not ready for a Reality Check but liked reading this, you can get posts like this in your inbox below. Usually daily.

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  • The Quiet Compromise

    The Quiet Compromise

    If the other side feels like they are “getting something,” that’s often good enough.

    One of the most important things to understand about negotiation has nothing to do with price.

    It has to do with how people experience gains and losses.

    Research by psychologist Daniel Kahneman showed that people feel losses much more strongly than gains. In simple terms, a loss hurts about twice as much as an equivalent gain feels good.

    Lose $100 and it bothers you.

    Gain $100 and it feels nice, but not nearly as strongly.

    To emotionally wipe out the loss of $100, you often need a gain closer to $200.

    This tendency is wired into us. It probably helped our ancestors avoid taking too many risks.

    But it also shows up constantly in negotiations.

    Imagine someone makes an offer on your land. The net number is close to acceptable to you, but not quite.

    Part of the deal is that they want you to pay for a survey that costs about $3,000.

    A lot of sellers immediately push back on that.

    They argue that the buyer should pay for the survey.

    But there’s usually an easier way to handle it.

    If you already plan to counter the price higher anyway, just leave the survey alone and increase your counter by a little more than you otherwise might.

    Maybe $5,000 higher.

    From your perspective, the math still works. In fact, it’s a little better for you than it would have been.

    But from the buyer’s perspective, the deal feels different.

    If you push them to pay for the survey, they experience that as a loss. And losses tend to loom larger than gains.

    They feel like they are giving something up.

    But if the survey stays the same and the price changes slightly, they don’t have the same reference point. They don’t know what your counteroffer would have been otherwise.

    So it doesn’t feel like they lost anything.

    The numbers may be almost identical either way.

    But one structure feels like friction.

    The other often sails right through.

    That’s what I think of as a quiet compromise.

    Same economics, different psychology.

    And in negotiation, psychology often decides which deals actually happen.

    P.S. Before negotiating anything, it helps to know where you stand in the market. Even if you’re not looking to do anything today, the time to start paying attention is before you actually need to.

    That’s what the MBR Land Reality Check is for. Real market intelligence from someone with decades in the land business. You’ll know what’s selling, for how much, and what’s happening in terms of development.

    It’s free today. Never any obligation, and never any pressure to list.

    Get Yours Here

    P.P.S. If you’re not ready for a Reality Check but liked reading this, you can get posts like this in your inbox below. Usually daily.

    Register to Receive Posts Via Email!

    By submitting, I understand I will receive marketing emails and blog posts from Mike Browning Realty and/or associated companies. Unsubscribe at any time.

  • No Is Nothing To Be Afraid Of

    No Is Nothing To Be Afraid Of

    Sometimes it’s the fastest way to reach agreement.

    Most people think negotiation is about getting the other side to say yes, or overwhelming objections with pressure and emotional manipulation. If you’ve ever spent time on a car lot, you’ve probably experienced the technique firsthand.

    Good negotiators often do the opposite. They give the other person room to say no. That sounds strange at first, but there’s a simple reason for it.

    People don’t experience yes and no the same way.

    Yes feels like commitment. Like stepping onto a track where you don’t know exactly where it goes.

    No feels different.
    No feels safe, or like control.

    When someone senses that you’re pushing for yes, they often become cautious. They slow down, hedge, and sometimes shut the conversation down entirely.

    But when someone knows they can say no, the pressure disappears.

    That’s why experienced negotiators sometimes frame questions in ways that invite a no.

    Instead of asking:

    “Is now a good time to talk?”

    They ask:

    “Is now a bad time to talk?”

    It sounds like a small difference, but psychologically it’s very different. The other person can say no without feeling trapped.

    Once someone knows they can say no, they relax. And when people relax, they start telling you what they actually think.

    You see this in real estate negotiations all the time.

    If you push someone toward yes too early, they often resist, even if the deal might ultimately make sense for them.

    But when someone feels comfortable saying no, they usually explain why. And that explanation is where the real negotiation begins.

    Maybe the issue is price.
    It could be timing.
    Or a concern about utilities, access, or development.

    Once the real concern is on the table, you can actually work with it.

    Negotiation isn’t really about forcing agreement. It’s about creating a conversation where people feel safe enough to tell the truth.

    And oddly enough, that often starts with letting them say no.

    P.S. Even if you’re not actively considering selling, is it crazy to think having current info before you need it might be a good idea?

    That’s what the MBR Land Reality Check is for.

    You get a clear-eyed look at what’s selling near your tract, who’s buying, development activity, utility constraints, and more.

    A real (and realistic) opinion based on real information.

    Free (for now), with no obligation and no pressure to list.

    Get yours here.

    Is it a bad time to know where you stand?

    (See what I did there?)

    P.P.S. If you’re not ready for that but like what you see here, you can always get these posts in your inbox here:

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  • Can’t Argue with This Reasoning

    Can’t Argue with This Reasoning

    Convincing works even less in personal relationships than in business.

    Continuing from yesterday’s post about too many reasons or explanations…

    I’ve gotten pricklier with age, so it doesn’t happen to me much anymore — but I see it all the time with people close to me.

    Someone asks them to do something, and they say no. But instead of leaving it there, they give a reason why.

    And that’s when it starts.

    Because when you give someone a reason, you give them something to argue with.

    Suddenly, they’re explaining why your reason doesn’t matter:

    • “You don’t really need to do that thing.”
    • “This is more important.”
    • “You’ll have more fun if you just do this instead.”

    In other words, they’re trying to convince you that what they want is really good for you.

    It reminds me of casino operators trying to get gambling legalized in Texas — pitching us on how great it’ll be for everyone, when really, they’re the ones who get rich. But that’s another story.

    Here’s the point:

    • Learn to take “no” for an answer. You’ll feel better, and some people will return the favor — which is still better than you’re getting now.
    • When someone asks you to do something you don’t want to do, give one reason:

    “I don’t want to.”

    That’s it. You can’t argue with it.

    Here’s the pretzel twist back to real estate:

    I’ll never try to talk you into selling. If you’re not ready, you’re not ready. I might follow up occasionally, but I’ll never pressure you.

    My job is to give you information and advice — to help you see how that might get you where you want to go. Not to tell you where to go. (And if I ever do, you have permission to tell me where to go.)

    Is there ever a bad time to stay up to date on things, in a no-pressure environment? You may never be ready to sell, and I’ll never try to convince you. But it’s always smart to be ready.

    Click below when you’re ready to start with that.

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