Mike Browning

Tag: Real Estate Negotiation

  • The Negotiation Nobody Notices

    The Negotiation Nobody Notices

    Nitpicking nickels, netting nothing.

    Buyers sometimes lose deals for a strange reason.

    They win too many small arguments.

    Most people think negotiation means squeezing every last concession out of the other side.

    But small concessions often trigger the same psychology we talked about earlier. People feel losses about twice as strongly as equivalent gains.

    So every small “win” for the buyer can feel like a loss to the seller.

    And losses tend to demand compensation.

    Imagine you’re buying a tract of land.

    The price is close to working.

    But during negotiations you start asking for a list of smaller items:

    Pay for the survey.
    Pay for title.
    Fix the fence.
    Cover some closing costs.

    None of these things are huge by themselves.

    But to the seller, every one of them feels like giving something up.

    Soon the deal starts to feel worse than the original offer.

    And the seller reacts the same way most people do when they feel losses stacking up.

    They push back harder on the price.

    Or they simply decide the deal isn’t worth the trouble.

    Ironically, buyers sometimes end up paying more by trying to win those smaller battles.

    The deals that close smoothly usually look different.

    Both sides focus on the big economics first.

    Once that works, they stop trying to win every small point.

    Because in negotiation, momentum matters.

    If the deal feels good, people want to finish it.

    If it starts to feel like a series of losses, they start looking for a way out.

    And most deals that fall apart don’t fail because of the big numbers.

    They fail because of the little ones.

    P.S. Before negotiating anything, it helps to know where you stand in the market. Even if you’re not looking to do anything today, the time to start paying attention is before you actually need to.

    That’s what the MBR Land Reality Check is for. Real market intelligence from someone with decades in the land business. You’ll know what’s selling, for how much, and what’s happening in terms of development.

    It’s free today. Never any obligation, and never any pressure to list.

    Get Yours Here

    P.P.S. If you’re not ready for a Reality Check but liked reading this, you can get posts like this in your inbox below. Usually daily.

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  • The Quiet Compromise

    The Quiet Compromise

    If the other side feels like they are “getting something,” that’s often good enough.

    One of the most important things to understand about negotiation has nothing to do with price.

    It has to do with how people experience gains and losses.

    Research by psychologist Daniel Kahneman showed that people feel losses much more strongly than gains. In simple terms, a loss hurts about twice as much as an equivalent gain feels good.

    Lose $100 and it bothers you.

    Gain $100 and it feels nice, but not nearly as strongly.

    To emotionally wipe out the loss of $100, you often need a gain closer to $200.

    This tendency is wired into us. It probably helped our ancestors avoid taking too many risks.

    But it also shows up constantly in negotiations.

    Imagine someone makes an offer on your land. The net number is close to acceptable to you, but not quite.

    Part of the deal is that they want you to pay for a survey that costs about $3,000.

    A lot of sellers immediately push back on that.

    They argue that the buyer should pay for the survey.

    But there’s usually an easier way to handle it.

    If you already plan to counter the price higher anyway, just leave the survey alone and increase your counter by a little more than you otherwise might.

    Maybe $5,000 higher.

    From your perspective, the math still works. In fact, it’s a little better for you than it would have been.

    But from the buyer’s perspective, the deal feels different.

    If you push them to pay for the survey, they experience that as a loss. And losses tend to loom larger than gains.

    They feel like they are giving something up.

    But if the survey stays the same and the price changes slightly, they don’t have the same reference point. They don’t know what your counteroffer would have been otherwise.

    So it doesn’t feel like they lost anything.

    The numbers may be almost identical either way.

    But one structure feels like friction.

    The other often sails right through.

    That’s what I think of as a quiet compromise.

    Same economics, different psychology.

    And in negotiation, psychology often decides which deals actually happen.

    P.S. Before negotiating anything, it helps to know where you stand in the market. Even if you’re not looking to do anything today, the time to start paying attention is before you actually need to.

    That’s what the MBR Land Reality Check is for. Real market intelligence from someone with decades in the land business. You’ll know what’s selling, for how much, and what’s happening in terms of development.

    It’s free today. Never any obligation, and never any pressure to list.

    Get Yours Here

    P.P.S. If you’re not ready for a Reality Check but liked reading this, you can get posts like this in your inbox below. Usually daily.

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  • Compromising Positions

    Compromising Positions

    Splitting the difference sounds good but it usually isn’t the answer.

    People are taught from childhood that compromise is the fair solution.

    If two people want different things, you split the difference. Everyone gives a little. Everyone walks away happy.

    That sounds reasonable. But sometimes the “fair” compromise is actually ridiculous.

    Some of them I can’t repeat here.

    There’s an old story in the First Book of Kings about two women claiming the same baby. They brought the dispute to King Solomon.

    Solomon proposed a solution, cut the baby in half and give each woman a piece.

    Of course he didn’t really intend for that to happen. The point was to expose the flaw in the idea that every dispute has a reasonable middle. Some problems cannot be solved by compromise.

    One woman immediately begged him to give the child to the other. Which revealed who the real mother was.

    The point was clarity.

    Some things don’t have a middle that works. Negotiation runs into this problem all the time.

    People assume that splitting the difference automatically produces a fair agreement. But compromise often just glues two incompatible ideas together.

    Think about a simple example.

    A landowner wants $1.5 million for a tract.
    A buyer wants to pay $1.3 million.

    Someone suggests the obvious solution.

    Split the difference at $1.4 million.

    On paper that looks fair. Each side moved the same amount.

    But fairness on paper doesn’t mean the deal actually works.

    Maybe the buyer’s financing only supports $1.3 million.
    Maybe the seller needs $1.45 million to justify selling.
    Maybe the timing or tax consequences change the math.

    In those situations, splitting the difference doesn’t solve the problem. It just produces a number that satisfies neither side.

    This is why experienced negotiators spend less time looking for the middle and more time understanding what each side actually values.

    Sometimes the right solution isn’t halfway between two positions.

    Sometimes the right solution is something different entirely.

    And sometimes the right solution is realizing there isn’t a deal at all.

    P.S. To know whether there’s a deal or not, you need the most current market information.

    You’re probably not even considering selling today. But things can change quickly. The best time to start gathering information is well before you actually need it.

    That’s what the MBR Land Reality Check is for. Clear-eyed analysis using actual sales and decades of experience in land brokerage.

    It’s free (for now). No obligation. And never any pressure to list.

    Would it be a bad idea to just see where things stand?

    Request Yours Here

    P.P.S. If you’re not ready for a Reality Check but liked reading this, you can get posts like this in your inbox below. Usually daily.

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  • No Is Nothing To Be Afraid Of

    No Is Nothing To Be Afraid Of

    Sometimes it’s the fastest way to reach agreement.

    Most people think negotiation is about getting the other side to say yes, or overwhelming objections with pressure and emotional manipulation. If you’ve ever spent time on a car lot, you’ve probably experienced the technique firsthand.

    Good negotiators often do the opposite. They give the other person room to say no. That sounds strange at first, but there’s a simple reason for it.

    People don’t experience yes and no the same way.

    Yes feels like commitment. Like stepping onto a track where you don’t know exactly where it goes.

    No feels different.
    No feels safe, or like control.

    When someone senses that you’re pushing for yes, they often become cautious. They slow down, hedge, and sometimes shut the conversation down entirely.

    But when someone knows they can say no, the pressure disappears.

    That’s why experienced negotiators sometimes frame questions in ways that invite a no.

    Instead of asking:

    “Is now a good time to talk?”

    They ask:

    “Is now a bad time to talk?”

    It sounds like a small difference, but psychologically it’s very different. The other person can say no without feeling trapped.

    Once someone knows they can say no, they relax. And when people relax, they start telling you what they actually think.

    You see this in real estate negotiations all the time.

    If you push someone toward yes too early, they often resist, even if the deal might ultimately make sense for them.

    But when someone feels comfortable saying no, they usually explain why. And that explanation is where the real negotiation begins.

    Maybe the issue is price.
    It could be timing.
    Or a concern about utilities, access, or development.

    Once the real concern is on the table, you can actually work with it.

    Negotiation isn’t really about forcing agreement. It’s about creating a conversation where people feel safe enough to tell the truth.

    And oddly enough, that often starts with letting them say no.

    P.S. Even if you’re not actively considering selling, is it crazy to think having current info before you need it might be a good idea?

    That’s what the MBR Land Reality Check is for.

    You get a clear-eyed look at what’s selling near your tract, who’s buying, development activity, utility constraints, and more.

    A real (and realistic) opinion based on real information.

    Free (for now), with no obligation and no pressure to list.

    Get yours here.

    Is it a bad time to know where you stand?

    (See what I did there?)

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  • Why “Full Transparency” Is Often Bad Advice

    Why “Full Transparency” Is Often Bad Advice

    Honesty and strategy are not the same thing.

    “Full transparency” sounds virtuous.
    It sounds ethical.
    It sounds like something a professional should offer.

    And in the abstract, it feels right.

    But in real negotiations, especially in real estate, it is often terrible advice.

    Not because honesty does not matter.
    It does.

    But because transparency is not the same thing as honesty.

    Honesty means not lying.
    Transparency means volunteering information.

    Those are very different standards.

    A seller can be completely honest without disclosing every thought, pressure point, or internal debate.

    In fact, that restraint is usually what protects their outcome.

    Problems start when agents confuse being helpful with being transparent.

    They start explaining things that do not need explaining.
    They start sharing context that was never requested.
    They start narrating the deal instead of managing it.

    “I just want to be upfront.”
    “I believe in full transparency.”
    “I don’t want there to be any surprises.”

    Those phrases sound good. They feel professional. And they regularly cost clients money.

    The market does not reward openness.
    It rewards leverage.

    Buyers do not pay more because you were candid.
    They pay more when they believe alternatives exist and pressure does not.

    Once motivation is disclosed, it cannot be undisclosed.
    Once flexibility is revealed, it becomes the floor.
    Once urgency is admitted, time stops working for you.

    And no amount of goodwill puts that leverage back.

    Good representation is not about hiding things.
    It is about controlling timing.

    What gets said.
    When it gets said.
    And whether it needed to be said at all.

    Most sellers assume their agent understands this instinctively.
    Many do not.

    They believe being liked is the same as being trusted.
    They believe cooperation creates value.
    They believe transparency speeds things up.

    Sometimes it does.
    Usually it just cheapens the result.

    A professional agent knows the difference between truth and disclosure.
    Between ethics and exposure.
    Between serving the deal and serving the client.

    That difference rarely shows up in marketing.
    But it shows up clearly at the closing table.

    PS – If you own land or acreage and want a clear, no-obligation opinion of value, I offer a free analysis based on real comps and actual market experience.

    No algorithms. No guesswork. No pressure.

    You will know where you stand today and what realistic options actually look like.

    You probably are not even thinking about selling right now. Is it a bad idea to have that clarity before you need it?

    You can get started here

    PPS – If this resonated, feel free to forward it to someone who might need to hear it.

  • A Fast “No” Is Better Than a Slow “Maybe”

    A Fast “No” Is Better Than a Slow “Maybe”

    Being clear isn’t impolite — it’s the opposite.

    Most people hate saying the word no. Even when they already know the answer, they’ll stall.

    They’ll say things like:

    “Let me think about it.”
    “Maybe.”
    or the classic— “Yes… but sometime later.”

    Which really just means: no, but they don’t want to be the one to say it out loud.

    It’s funny, because everyone gets irritated being on the receiving end of that behavior, but somehow it doesn’t translate when they’re the one avoiding the decision.

    Why do people drag it out?

    Part of it is simple: a lot of people don’t want conflict, even small conflict.

    And telling someone no feels confrontational.

    The other part is that most people don’t feel safe saying no.

    Because the second they do, someone tries to talk them out of it.

    Salespeople do it.
    Friends do it.
    Family definitely does it.

    Give a reason, and they’ll try to negotiate with the reason instead of accepting the answer.

    (If you want help with that, check this out)

    Personally, I love a clear no. It’s honest. It’s clean.

    And it gives both sides direction.

    It doesn’t stop the conversation — it just puts it on real footing.

    And here’s the part most people miss:

    A no today doesn’t mean no forever.

    People change their minds. Circumstances shift. Timing improves.

    But when you finally hear a yes from someone who wasn’t afraid to say no earlier, it’s a real yes.

    So whether you’re negotiating, selling, buying, planning, or just trying to get through everyday life without wasting time — a fast no is almost always better than a slow maybe.

    It’s cleaner.
    It’s kinder.
    And it’s honest.

    Subscribe for more here.

    PS — If this topic interests you, Jim Camp is the gold standard.
    He taught that the fastest way to find the truth in any negotiation is to give the other person permission to say no.

    Not hint at it.
    Not tolerate it.
    Invite it.

    Most negotiation books focus on getting to yes.

    Camp’s approach is the opposite — and far more effective.

    I read the book at least once a year, it helps me that much.

    There’s a link to buy it on my recommended reading page.

    Would it be a terrible idea to spend five minutes there?

    Recommended Reading

    Disclosure: As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases. If you buy something—anything—after clicking that link, I may receive a small commission. It doesn’t change your price.

  • When Someone Says Win/Win, Prepare to Lose

    When Someone Says Win/Win, Prepare to Lose

    The only people who love “win-win” are the ones winning twice.

    I got an email today pitching a continuing-education class for real estate agents.

    The hook?

    “Seasoned pro Candy Cooke will offer real-estate-specific tips on how to close deals that are win-win for all parties.”

    Every time I see “win-win,” I know exactly what’s coming next:

    Someone wants you to compromise before there’s any reason to.

    Now, I’m not against working together. Not even close.

    Good negotiators use empathy constantly — not to melt into the other side, but to understand what they actually want.

    Sometimes there is a way to structure a deal where both sides walk away happier than they expected.

    But that’s not usually what “win-win” means when it shows up in real estate training.

    What it usually means is: “Let’s teach agents how to get their own clients to settle faster so the agent can get paid sooner.”

    Dress it up however you want, that’s the game.

    Because here’s the truth nobody in CE classes ever says out loud:

    Most “win-win” apostles aren’t preparing you to negotiate. They’re preparing you to fold. And worse, they’re preparing your clients to fold.

    A true negotiation is cooperative — but it isn’t compliant.

    Those are two very different things.

    The consumer thinks “win-win” means the agent is going to fight for them while still being reasonable.

    What it often means is the agent is going to protect the relationship with the other agent, move the deal along, and get to the closing table with as little friction as possible.

    Even if that means nudging their own client into giving up more than they should.

    That’s not working for someone. That’s working them.

    The sad thing is, most agents don’t even realize they’ve been taught to do this. The scripts and the slogans sound virtuous — “we’re looking for mutual benefit,” “we want everyone to win,” “we don’t want to create tension,” and so on.

    And the public hears those lines and thinks, “Well, that sounds nice.”

    Of course it sounds nice. That’s why it works.

    Meanwhile, in the real world, negotiation experts like Jim Camp and Chris Voss teach systems built on something entirely different: clarity, permission to say no, understanding what matters, and deliberately de-escalating pressure instead of giving in to it.

    Those systems work.

    They get better deals.

    And they do it without games, without manipulation, and without needing your client to be the “reasonable” one every time.

    I use those systems because they’re collaborative in the only way that matters: they produce honest results.

    They help my clients get what they actually want, without tricking the other side and without tricking my own people into thinking they have to settle early.

    And the best part? I don’t hide it.

    I tell everyone to read the books — agents, clients, anyone. Everything in life is a negotiation. The better you get at it, the better everything goes.

    Real collaboration isn’t phony “win-win.”

    It’s two sides telling the truth, knowing their purpose, and working toward an agreement that actually makes sense.

    That’s the game I’m playing. And I’m playing it on behalf of the people who hire me.

    If the other side happens to play it too? It almost always ends up better for everyone.

    Get More Like this in your inbox here!

    You can buy the books off my recommended reading page here:

    Buy Them Here

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  • Sticks and Stones

    Sticks and Stones

    They can’t make you accept, but they are giving you insight.

    Selling land can get emotional.

    You’ve owned it, maybe cared for it, maybe just paid the taxes every year (hopefully ag taxes).

    When you decide to sell, you’ve got a number in mind—probably based at least partly on what a broker (hopefully me) has told you about comparable sales and nearby activity.

    Then the first offer comes in, and it feels like a slap in the face.

    Most sellers take it personal. I get it. But an offer isn’t a judgment.

    It’s just the number that works for that buyer.

    Every buyer looks at the same piece of ground through a different lens. On one extreme are the people who send obvious form letters saying they want to buy your land. They’re playing a numbers game and don’t need many hits to make money.

    I don’t recommend dealing with those folks, but don’t let them ruin your day either.

    A homebuilder runs numbers on what they can sell houses for. A rancher may only be thinking about grazing capacity. An investor is looking five years down the road and trying to pencil out a return.

    They’re all looking at the same dirt, but with different requirements, timing, and risk tolerances. That’s why offers can be all over the place.

    Another thing that throws people is timing. Some buyers can close in 30 days because they already know what they’re doing. Others need 90 or 120 days (or more) because they’ve got to get financing or city approvals.

    Asking for extra time doesn’t always mean they’re flaky.

    Sometimes it does, but other times it just means they’re being realistic. Sorting out which is which is part of the process.

    This is where having someone on your side who’s plugged in helps. Word gets around pretty quick in my circles if someone isn’t worth messing with.

    The first number a buyer throws out is rarely the final one. It’s a starting point. They’re showing you what they see, and you have the chance to respond.

    That’s what negotiation is.

    Sometimes you find middle ground, sometimes you don’t. But if you shut it down just because the number feels insulting, you might miss the one buyer who could actually stretch to meet your price.

    I’ve seen it happen more than once. A seller laughs off an early offer, only to come back to something similar months later after realizing the market isn’t lining up with their expectations. That doesn’t mean the land is “worth less.” It means the pool of buyers who can make it work at the higher number is smaller, and it takes longer to find them.

    The goal isn’t to win the first round—it’s to get the right deal closed.

    Land deals usually aren’t about fast punches and fireworks. They’re about patience, persistence, and finding the match between what you’ve got and what a buyer can realistically do with it.

    So when that first offer comes in and your instinct is to get mad, don’t. It’s just part of the process.

    Offers give us information, even when they aren’t acceptable.

    Real estate deals require trust on both sides, and if the buyer sees you as a flake it can make them reluctant.

    Remember—you’re in control until you sign a contract.

    The best clients stay level headed, but that doesn’t mean giving in immediately. It means being deliberate and trying to take the emotion out of it. Easier said than done sometimes, but you have to try.

    Is it a bad idea to want to work with someone like minded?

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  • The Root of All Losing

    The Root of All Losing

    If it’s obvious you’ve got to have it, it’s harder to get.

    If there’s one thing that’ll cost you in a negotiation—whether you’re buying, selling, or settling on where to go for dinner—it’s neediness.

    The moment you need the deal to happen, you’ve already lost. The other side can smell it. They might not know exactly what it is, but they’ll feel it. And if they’re any good at what they do, they’ll use it against you.

    Take car shopping, for example. You roll onto a lot, poke around a few rows, and come across what you’ve been looking for. It’s clean, it fits your budget, and you can already see yourself pulling into your driveway in it.

    Then the salesperson swoops in.

    They’ve done this dance a hundred times. They can tell you’re into it. And they lean into that: “These don’t last long… I’ve already had someone else looking at it earlier today… If you want it, you better act now.”

    And you’re tempted. Because it feels like this is your one shot at getting what you want.

    But take a step back.

    You passed ten car lots on your way in. Every one of them had dozens of vehicles. Hundreds. You saw thousands of cars on the road just getting to the dealership. They’re mass-produced. There’s another one out there that’ll work just fine. Maybe even better.

    The key isn’t to stop wanting things. It’s fine to want a deal to come together. It’s fine to like something. What’s not fine is crossing that line into thinking you have to have it. That it’s this or nothing.

    That’s when you stop negotiating and start begging—whether you realize it or not.

    Now land and lots are a little different. No two properties are the same. So technically, yes—this particular piece of dirt might be one-of-a-kind. But that doesn’t mean it’s the only one that’ll work for you.

    If you miss out, the sun will still come up tomorrow. You’ll still have a roof over your head. You’ll still eat dinner.

    You’ll find something else that checks the right boxes.

    Wanting is fine. Needing is a trap.

    This applies far beyond real estate and car lots. It shows up in business, relationships, sales, and parenting. The second someone sees that you’ve made your happiness dependent on a specific outcome, they’ve got leverage. Even if they’re not trying to be manipulative, the dynamic shifts.

    Letting go of neediness is freeing. It puts you back in control. You might decide to stretch a little to get it done, but you’re doing it consciously.

    You can still chase the deal—but with clear eyes and a level head.

    Because once you stop needing it, that’s when you’re most likely to get it.

    Got a lot you might want to sell?
    Get a FREE, no obligation report on what it could sell for today.
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