Thinking you know what’s in the other guy’s head gets expensive when you’re wrong.
In the run-up to the 2008 banking crisis, lots of land investors bought future development tracts using bank debt. Which they predictably lost when market appreciation paused and they couldn’t sell their way out of the deals (or refinance them).
Typically the way it plays out: the bank gets the property back through foreclosure, and then tries to sell it for “what they have in it.”
The problem is, if it was worth that number, the previous owner would have sold it rather than losing it. Nobody just hands the keys back for fun.
So the property sits until the bank gets realistic.
I remember one deal like this in northern Collin County. About 360 acres, if I remember right.
At the time it was considered “out there.” Not many rooftops, not much heat. And the asking price was still high. It came down a little. And I thought of someone who might be a buyer.
Then I made the classic mistake.
I thought, there’s no way he’d be interested at that price.
So I didn’t call him.
Didn’t ask.
Didn’t even give him the chance to tell me no.
You already know what happened next.
Next time I checked, ownership had changed. The guy I assumed wouldn’t be interested had bought it.
By assuming, I cost myself a very healthy commission.
Now—was I wrong about the price? Maybe, maybe not.
Doesn’t matter.
What mattered is I didn’t ask. I didn’t get inside his world. I stayed in mine. I let my assumptions do the thinking for me.
Jim Camp talks about this in Start With No.
Don’t assume you know the other side’s situation, pressures, desires, timeline, needs, or reasoning.
Even if you’re familiar with them.
Even if you think you’ve seen the pattern before.
Even if you would feel the same way in their shoes.
Because you are not in their shoes.
And you can’t negotiate or sell or advise effectively while standing in your own.
You have to ask. You have to get curious. You have to go find out what’s real — for them.
Sometimes that means you hear a quick “no.”
Sometimes it means you hear something surprising.
In my case, it would have meant a check.
I did end up with a good dove hunting spot for a few years, until it got covered up with houses. (It’s not “out there” anymore.) But the lesson was better than the hunting:
Don’t assume. Ask.
PS — (here it comes again…)
I’ve been flogging Start With No and Never Split the Difference all week. I’ll give it a rest after today. (No promises on how long.)
Maybe you’re tired of hearing it. But if you knew something that would help me and didn’t tell me, would that be right?
Negotiation touches every part of our lives. Even the boring everyday stuff — where to go for dinner, whether the kids get ready on time, who picks up the dog from the groomer. It’s all negotiation.
If you get better at it, your life gets easier.
Sometimes by a little.
Usually by a lot.
Get it here:
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