Tag: Repentance

  • We’d Never Do Something That Bad

    We’d Never Do Something That Bad

    The story of Peter’s denial is one of the catastrophic failures in the whole Bible. Foretold by Jesus Himself the night before, like the whole thing was written in advance. It sounds like a uniquely terrible collapse of faith.

    It was terrible. That part’s not in question. He shot his mouth off about how he’d die before disowning his Lord. A few hours later he denied knowing Christ, in public, three separate times, to people who weren’t even pressing him that hard.

    A servant girl in the high priest’s courtyard looked at Peter and asked him directly, something close to, weren’t you with him too. Not a vague vibe in the room he had to read. A direct question. And three times, Peter answered it. No. Don’t know the guy. Never met him. Swore for effect on the third.

    So yes it was terrible. But it wasn’t unique.

    We do the same thing, regularly, and don’t call it that.

    We don’t usually deny Christ outright, because most of us never get asked that bluntly. What we get instead are smaller, more specific versions of the same question. Someone asks straight out what we actually think about something, and we know what the honest answer costs, so we give the rounded-off version instead. Technically not a lie. Worded carefully enough to stay out of trouble either way. We call that being diplomatic, or not making it a thing, or just being easy to deal with.

    Going along to get along. That’s the polite name for it. It’s also the exact move Peter made by the fire. He just didn’t have a softer phrase available to hide behind. He was asked, and he answered the wrong thing on purpose.

    Our version doesn’t get preached about on a Sunday. Nobody wrote it down with a rooster crowing at the end for effect. So it doesn’t feel like denial. It feels like being reasonable. Being easy to get along with. Not making things awkward.

    Call it what it actually is, though, and it’s the same transaction Peter made at the fire. Get asked directly, and trade a small piece of honesty about whose side you’re on for a small amount of comfort. He did it under torchlight with witnesses. We do it at dinner, at work, online, and walk away feeling like nothing happened.

    That wasn’t the end for him, though, and what happened after matters more than the failure itself. Peter wept over it. Didn’t try to explain it away. And later, after the resurrection, Jesus finds him on a beach and asks him one question three times. Do you love me. Once for every denial. Doesn’t make him relive the scene at the fire. Just asks, lets Peter answer, and tells him to go feed the sheep.

    That’s the man who ends up preaching at Pentecost, the one the whole early church gets built around.

    We definitely don’t have anything to be proud of, but despair isn’t called for either. It’s the opposite. If God still handed Peter the church after that, mid-failure, no cleanup required first, He’s not waiting on a clean record from the rest of us either.

    Your denial is real. So is what He’s still willing to do with you in spite of it.


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  • Furious That It Worked

    Furious That It Worked

    Jonah gets remembered for the fish. That’s the part everybody knows. Swallowed, three days, spit out on a beach.

    But the fish isn’t really the story. It’s barely the warm-up.

    God tells Jonah to go preach to Nineveh, a city full of Israel’s enemies, and tell them to repent or be destroyed. Jonah immediately heads the opposite direction. Books a ship going the other way across the sea.

    Not because he doubted God would do it. Because he knew God actually would forgive them if they listened. And these were his enemies, so he didn’t want that.

    Most of the time we picture the reluctant prophet as scared of failing, scared of being laughed at, scared the mission won’t work. Jonah ran because he knew it would work exactly as advertised.

    Storm, sailors throw him overboard, fish, three days, thrown back up on shore. He goes to Nineveh. Preaches the one line God gave him. The city repents immediately and completely, all the way up to the king.

    God relents. Doesn’t destroy the city.

    Jonah is furious.

    Sits down outside town and tells God flat out he’d rather die than watch this. Says he knew this would happen, that’s exactly why he ran in the first place. God is gracious and compassionate, and Jonah resents Him for it.

    God grows a plant to give Jonah some shade. Jonah likes the plant. Next day a worm kills it, the shade is gone, and Jonah is back to wanting to die, this time over a plant.

    God asks him a simple question. You’re upset about a plant you didn’t plant and didn’t grow. Shouldn’t I care about a city of more than a hundred thousand people?

    The book ends there. No resolution. No Jonah repenting and learning his lesson. Just God’s question hanging in the air.

    We understand Jonah better than we’d like to admit. We’re perfectly fine with mercy for ourselves. Less fine with it landing on the specific people we think don’t deserve it.

    You can want the right outcome and still be furious when you get it, if it benefits someone you’d rather see lose.

    Jonah did his job. Eventually. Preached the message. People who deserved judgment got mercy instead.

    He couldn’t stand it.

    What is your Nineveh?


  • Thank God We Aren’t Like Those People

    Thank God We Aren’t Like Those People

    There’s a parable in Luke where two guys go to the temple to pray.

    One is a Pharisee. Religious. Respected. Knows the rules and keeps most of them. Especially the ones where it’s visible.

    The other is a tax collector, which in that culture meant something closer to a known crook than an annoying IRS agent today. Tax collectors squeezed their own people for money and kept a cut. Nobody invited them to dinner.

    The Pharisee stands up front where people can see him and prays out loud. Thanks God that he isn’t like thieves, adulterers, or especially that he isn’t like the tax collector standing in the back. Mentions his fasting and tithing for good measure.

    The tax collector won’t even lift his eyes. Stands in the back, beats his chest, and says one line. God, have mercy on me. I’m a sinner.

    Jesus says the second guy went home justified. The first guy didn’t.

    That’s the whole story, but people manage to misread it in two different directions.

    One direction is feeling superior to the Pharisee. Easy to do. He’s an obvious villain, bragging about himself in church like that. We’d never.

    Except we do it constantly, just quieter. Comparing our parenting to the family down the street. Our marriage to the one that fell apart. Our finances to whoever’s worse off. It feels like gratitude. It’s actually scorekeeping, and the score only counts if you’re ahead.

    Reminds me of something I tell my wife. It’s not a contest, but if it was I’d be winning.

    The other direction is worse. Decide you’re basically the tax collector, beyond help, too far gone, might as well stop trying. That’s not humility either. That’s despair wearing humility’s clothes.

    The tax collector didn’t stay in the back forever feeling bad about himself. He said one true thing and asked for mercy. That was the whole prayer. No résumé. No bargaining. No project to clean himself up first.

    He didn’t even promise to change. He just asked for mercy. And he didn’t run through a litany of his faults either, he just said he was a sinner. God already knew the rest.

    That’s the part that’s actually hard to imitate. People are usually fine admitting they’re a mess in the abstract. The hard part is stopping there. Not following it with an excuse, a comparison, or a plan to fix yourself before you come back and ask again.

    Mercy doesn’t wait for the cleanup. It is the cleanup.

    Two guys walked into the temple. One left more impressed with himself than when he arrived. The other left forgiven.

    Worth noticing which one did less.