Tag: real-estate-humor

  • Am I Even A Real Person?

    Am I Even A Real Person?

    No meetings. No hassle. Just sold

    I’ve said before that in a high percentage of the land deals I handle—especially lots—I often don’t meet my clients until we’re signing documents at the title company. Sometimes, I don’t meet them at all.

    I do try to be at the closing, shake your hand, and say thank you in person. But sometimes it just doesn’t work out. Closings can happen without me there.

    Here’s a funny story from a few years ago: I sold a lot and couldn’t make it to the closing. I’d handled everything by email—pretty typical—and I don’t think I ever even spoke on the phone with the seller.

    She showed up at closing and asked the title agent:

    “Is Mike Browning even a real person?”

    The agent laughed and assured her I was. Said I was a great broker to work with.

    When I close deals with a new title company, I try to get there a little early. The staff are often surprised that I don’t know what my clients look like. Apparently, that’s unusual.

    If you’re selling a house, there’s a lot that needs to be shown, explained, and coordinated. And if someone’s going to be walking through your home while you’re not there, it makes sense to have met them and sized them up.

    But land—especially lots—is different. It’s usually straightforward. You just need someone who knows what to look for and what they need to know. With my experience, I can find all the key details (and probably a few you hadn’t thought about) without needing to meet in person.

    And you’re never committed to selling until you’re fully satisfied with the deal. You don’t owe me anything until the sale actually closes.

    I like to think my ability to close deals this way comes from writing clearly and helping people feel at ease. But really, most of the time, in-person meetings just aren’t necessary for this sort of thing.

    It’s not that I don’t want to meet you—we’re all just busy. Selling a piece of land usually isn’t at the top of your urgency list. So why not make it simple?

    My goal is to meet you once: at closing, when you’re being handed a check (or prepping for a wire). That way, our one in-person meeting is a good memory.

    No pressure. When you’re ready, I’m here.


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  • If They Knew, They’d Be on a Boat

    If They Knew, They’d Be on a Boat

    Take predictions with a grain of salt, no matter how convincing

    Even if you don’t watch them regularly, I’m sure you’ve seen the financial news channels—the ones with talking heads predicting where this stock, that stock, or the whole market is headed.

    And I’ll admit, some of them sound pretty sharp. Convincing, even.

    But here’s the thing:

    If they really knew what was going to happen, they wouldn’t be on TV. They’d be retired on a yacht somewhere. So let’s be honest—they’re at least a little bit full of it.

    Same goes for real estate. There are plenty of people out there ready to tell you exactly what the market will look like six months or a year from now. And they can sound pretty slick while doing it. But be careful. Even if they end up being right, that doesn’t mean they actually knew anything.

    Anyone who claims to know the future—or promises specific results in selling real estate—is either lying or fooling themselves. And like I’ve said before, either way, that’s not someone you want working for you.

    You can ask me what I think is going to happen, and I’ll tell you: I don’t know. Historically, land values tend to go up. But it’s not a straight line, and it depends on a lot of factors. What I can do is show you what’s happened recently and give you a sense of today’s market—assuming things stay reasonably steady.

    Am I ever wrong? Sure. Just ask my wife. Or my kids.

    But I’ll never just tell you something I don’t know, just because it sounds good.

    As always, no pressure. Ever. But you can get me here anytime if you’re thinking about selling.