A lie can seem expedient at the time, but it messes you up long term.
People love to talk about negotiation like it’s some slick performance.
Say the magic line. Use the magic trick.
“Frame it this way.”
“Promise them something you’ll figure out later.”
That’s not negotiation. That’s drama club.
One of the best negotiation lessons I ever picked up comes straight out of the FBI playbook:
You don’t lie. Ever.
In a hostage situation, someone might say, “If you promise I won’t do jail time, I’ll come out.”
A negotiator can’t promise that. It’s not their call.
And if they fake it, even for a moment, the entire situation collapses — not just that conversation, but every future one.
Same thing happens in business. In real estate. In life.
Credibility is your currency. Once it cracks, you don’t get it back.
You can patch it, glue it, tape it — but everyone can still see the fracture.
And that’s where most people get themselves sideways:
They think lying buys them time.
They think exaggerating buys them leverage.
They think “avoiding the truth” keeps people calm.
No — what it buys is suspicion.
And once people are suspicious of you, nothing you say ever lands clean again.
If I tell a seller I have a buyer “ready to write,” I’d better mean it.
If I tell a buyer “you’re competing with ten offers,” It better be true.
If I tell someone “you’ll have an update tomorrow,” I’d better deliver one.
Not because I’m noble. Because I want to keep negotiating tomorrow.
Trust is a renewable resource only when you don’t drain it.
If you’ve ever been tempted to stretch the truth “just a little” to move a deal along, here’s the simple fix:
Say what you can do. Be honest about what you can’t.
You don’t lose deals by telling the truth.
You lose deals by being the person people can’t trust when the truth matters. (And the truth always matters)
The long-term advantage is always on the side of the person whose word actually means something.
Protect your credibility — your future depends on it.
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PS- If you think negotiation is just for business, you’re missing most of the picture.
Negotiation shows up everywhere — with your kids, your spouse, contractors, strangers at the store, people who try to take advantage of you.
Maybe even the cops if you ever find yourself explaining why you were “only going five over.”
If you get better at negotiation, you don’t just get better deals.
You get a calmer life. Better conversations. Fewer blow-ups.
More clarity. Less stress.
One of the best books I’ve ever read on negotiation is Never Split the Difference by Chris Voss.
I read it once a year.
It’s that good.
And if you read it — and actually apply what it teaches — it will help you in every part of your life.
I have it listed on my Recommended Reading page here:
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