Turns out the fastest way to defuse an accusation is to make it yourself.
One of my repeat clients told me something I really appreciated not long ago. They are capable of performing on large transactions both as a buyer and seller, so naturally they have lots of brokers showing them anything and everything.
Some of it makes sense and a lot of it doesn’t. But as you can expect, most of it gets presented to them with all the good parts highlighted and the not-so-good downplayed. If mentioned at all.
So what did he say? Basically that he knows I want to sell deals, that’s how I make money after all. But he really likes that I get to the so-called “hair” on a deal pretty quick, if not right from the jump.
To me, it’s the only sensible way to operate. But if you’ve dealt with real estate folks very long, you know it doesn’t always work that way.
For my part, it’s just smart business. If you intend to be around a long time, you need people to trust what you tell them. And the best way to keep a client wanting to buy land deals is to make sure they do well on the ones they’re buying today.
Besides, these are sophisticated guys. If I know about something affecting a deal, they’re going to find it sooner or later anyway.
Chris Voss has a name for this in Never Split The Difference. He calls it an accusation audit. The best way to deal with baggage where your counterpart might have an issue with what you’ve said or done is to be the one who brings it up first. Usually right at the start.
It sounds like handing the other person ammunition. It’s usually the opposite. Once you’ve said the uncomfortable thing yourself, they don’t have to wonder whether you see it too. You’ve put it on the table where both of you can deal with it. And often, hearing their own worst thought said back to them plainly takes some of the force out of it.
Or maybe you are right, and they are carrying a grudge and they aren’t going to do business with you no matter what. At least you found it out up front, and saved time and effort for both of you.
There’s a difference between defending yourself against an accusation and never letting it land in the first place.
It only works if you’re honest about what the accusations actually are. Sugarcoating them defeats the whole point, and people can tell when you’re doing it. You have to say the version that actually stings a little.
I’ve been flogging this book for about a month now, so I’ll give it a rest after today. But given that negotiation touches just about every part of your life, can it be a bad idea to get better at it?
Buy Never Split The Difference Here
PS- That link goes through Amazon, and I’m an affiliate. Doesn’t cost you a dime more, but if you click through and buy the book, or anything else while you’re there, I get a small commission.